Posted January 11, 2021
low rated
The night was darker than normal and it had an errie feel to it, no moonlight or stars shining. The Commander of Fort Backflip,also titled Chin Backflip was pacing the floor, pondering a massive problem, all his mods had disappeared and he needed them on duty with their ban hammers at their side.
"Lieutenant"he bellowed.
"Yes Sir!"a tiny weasal jumped to attention.
"We have a problem and YOU are going to solve it.All my mods have disappeared and YOU will formulate a plan to get them back on duty"
"How Sir?"shaking the weasal said.
"That's your problem as I'm the Chief buck passer in this place"
"SIR!"
The next morning,at exactly 6am..BANG BANG BANG!
The Commander fell out bed and cracked his skull on a beer bottle.
"What in tanations! Are you bucking for a demotion Lieutenant?"he roared.
"NO SIR!''Sorry Sir,but I have an idea about your ahh my problem."
"WELL! SPIT IT OUT! AND IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD!"
"Yeeees Siiir,I know a Tracker that can find them and smoke them out,the mods that is."
"IDIOT! I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, aaand I I like the idea, my boy.Who is this Tracker?"
"Tauto the Tracker can track down anything or anyone, Sir."
"Mmmm, yes I've heard about this fellow, supposed to be a nasty type."
"Yes Sir,but he is the best and we,I mean I need him."
"Okay, get him!"
"YES SIR"
END OF CHAPTER ONE.
"BANG BANG BANG!"
"COME IN! DO YOU HAVE TO KNOCK SO LOUD,you made me drop my muffin in my tea cup"
"Sorry Sir,I have Mr Tauto here."
"Ahh,Tauto my good man,welcome."
"Quit the BS,Commander and tell how long my ban will be extended".
"No,no Sir! Extension is not what you here for.I I have a small favour that I need from you,ahh hah"
"You have the hide to ask a favour? GFY!....Okay,this could be amusing what is it?"
"Well, you see umm, this is a bit embarassing but all my mods have vanished and as you can see the forum is on fire and no one to control it".
"And you want me to find them,well well well how the mighty grovel.What's in it for me?"
"I I suuposee I could cancel your current ban".
"What!!!? Are you kidding,I'm having more fun out of this dump with my PM's.You'll need something better than that,Backflip Leader"
"Ahh umm, what would you like Tauto?"
"Your Lieutenant told me last night what the problem was soooooo I made a small list.It's only 13 pages long so it shouldn't take long to read."
"WHAT!!!!!!!!!"
"That's my que to exit this place,bye"
"WAIT WAIT! Lets not be too hasty.Let me read your dem-conditions and I'll get back to you"
"I'll tell you what Commander and it's for free".
"Yes,yes.I'm all ears,Sir".
"On my way to see you this morning,I noticed some slither marks outside leading to a big rock so if I were you I would check under that rock and you will find your first mod.You will see why I am the best Tracker in this place and I guarantee to find them all.Now making them work is one of your small problems but the big one is doing it without bias and they can't handle the truth,so we will have plenty of problems from those belly slitherers".
END OF CHAPTER TWO.
"Right Lewie,lets move out"
"It's Reginald,Sir"
"Reggie, now listen and listen good.These belly sliders are going to be easy to find,they will be in a dark spot somewhere underground.The thing is we need to whisper from here on in as they will bolt if they hear us coming.You got that,Reggie?"
"Yes Sir"
"Cut the Sir crap! Now where is the sewer cover located in this place?"
"This way!"
"Hold your horses,Reggie as we need some rope and strong torches and some matches and gas masks,first before we gets to looking"
"In the supply depot is anything and everything you might need T"
"T ugh,okay.Lets go"
"Right,we are equiped.Lets go and ferret out those buggers"...Reggie led the way and shortly he pointed at the cover.
"Okay its whisper time"....Tauto motioned to Reggie to put on his gas mask and then they slowly lifted the cover off without saying a word.Tauto laid on his stomach and thought how ironic that was with a little smirk, and peered in.
There was a scuffle noise and Tauto knew he had uncovered their hideout and at that instant shone the light down the tunnel and like rabbits they were attracted to the light.A voice rang out and said...
"We ain't coming out!"
Tauto laughed and said.."Oh,you'll come out alright or this little box of matches will blow you out"
"You wouldn't dare!"
"Is that so? Do you really think that I give a fuck about spineless slugs like you.That's the second mistake you made by daring me" Tauto struck the match and all of a sudden there was..."NO,NO STOP! WE ARE COMING OUT!"
"How many more are missing,Reggie?"
"Ahh, one and she's a bias one"
"RIIIIGHT! Do you have any pigs here Reggie?"
"Yes, some big sows and one gilt."
"What? No Hogs?"
"No, well,there's the free games collectors and some people call them Hogs."
"I like you,Reggie you have a sense of humour."
"Okay.We need a pitchfolk and silence from here on in."
At the pen Tauto motioned for Reggie to stand back as he aimed the pitchfolk at the slopes trouth, but before he could let it fly....up jumped the last mod and bolted for the Backflip Office, screaming.
Tauto looked at Reggie and said between fits of laughter,"Holy shit,I wonder what would of happened if the pitchfolk had hit her."
Reggie was rolling on the ground laughing and nearly wet himself.
"Come on Reg, let's go and see the fun in the Office."
Back at the Backflip office the Commander was so impressed that he promised immunity to the tracker for a year at which Tauto replied "Stick it where the Sun don't shine as I have more fun with the PM's than the gutless bunch in the forum crying like little babies and stamping their feet for attention"
"But!! I thought you wanted to come back."
"And forever watching my P's and Q's like a gutless spineless worm like the rest in here that aren't protected by their buddy mods. Nope,that's not my caper so you can stick it!.....Seeya Reggie and get a bit more backbone and get rid of Backflip here, or is it Bing Bong Bang,now?"
"Lieutenant"he bellowed.
"Yes Sir!"a tiny weasal jumped to attention.
"We have a problem and YOU are going to solve it.All my mods have disappeared and YOU will formulate a plan to get them back on duty"
"How Sir?"shaking the weasal said.
"That's your problem as I'm the Chief buck passer in this place"
"SIR!"
The next morning,at exactly 6am..BANG BANG BANG!
The Commander fell out bed and cracked his skull on a beer bottle.
"What in tanations! Are you bucking for a demotion Lieutenant?"he roared.
"NO SIR!''Sorry Sir,but I have an idea about your ahh my problem."
"WELL! SPIT IT OUT! AND IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD!"
"Yeeees Siiir,I know a Tracker that can find them and smoke them out,the mods that is."
"IDIOT! I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT, aaand I I like the idea, my boy.Who is this Tracker?"
"Tauto the Tracker can track down anything or anyone, Sir."
"Mmmm, yes I've heard about this fellow, supposed to be a nasty type."
"Yes Sir,but he is the best and we,I mean I need him."
"Okay, get him!"
"YES SIR"
END OF CHAPTER ONE.
"BANG BANG BANG!"
"COME IN! DO YOU HAVE TO KNOCK SO LOUD,you made me drop my muffin in my tea cup"
"Sorry Sir,I have Mr Tauto here."
"Ahh,Tauto my good man,welcome."
"Quit the BS,Commander and tell how long my ban will be extended".
"No,no Sir! Extension is not what you here for.I I have a small favour that I need from you,ahh hah"
"You have the hide to ask a favour? GFY!....Okay,this could be amusing what is it?"
"Well, you see umm, this is a bit embarassing but all my mods have vanished and as you can see the forum is on fire and no one to control it".
"And you want me to find them,well well well how the mighty grovel.What's in it for me?"
"I I suuposee I could cancel your current ban".
"What!!!? Are you kidding,I'm having more fun out of this dump with my PM's.You'll need something better than that,Backflip Leader"
"Ahh umm, what would you like Tauto?"
"Your Lieutenant told me last night what the problem was soooooo I made a small list.It's only 13 pages long so it shouldn't take long to read."
"WHAT!!!!!!!!!"
"That's my que to exit this place,bye"
"WAIT WAIT! Lets not be too hasty.Let me read your dem-conditions and I'll get back to you"
"I'll tell you what Commander and it's for free".
"Yes,yes.I'm all ears,Sir".
"On my way to see you this morning,I noticed some slither marks outside leading to a big rock so if I were you I would check under that rock and you will find your first mod.You will see why I am the best Tracker in this place and I guarantee to find them all.Now making them work is one of your small problems but the big one is doing it without bias and they can't handle the truth,so we will have plenty of problems from those belly slitherers".
END OF CHAPTER TWO.
"Right Lewie,lets move out"
"It's Reginald,Sir"
"Reggie, now listen and listen good.These belly sliders are going to be easy to find,they will be in a dark spot somewhere underground.The thing is we need to whisper from here on in as they will bolt if they hear us coming.You got that,Reggie?"
"Yes Sir"
"Cut the Sir crap! Now where is the sewer cover located in this place?"
"This way!"
"Hold your horses,Reggie as we need some rope and strong torches and some matches and gas masks,first before we gets to looking"
"In the supply depot is anything and everything you might need T"
"T ugh,okay.Lets go"
"Right,we are equiped.Lets go and ferret out those buggers"...Reggie led the way and shortly he pointed at the cover.
"Okay its whisper time"....Tauto motioned to Reggie to put on his gas mask and then they slowly lifted the cover off without saying a word.Tauto laid on his stomach and thought how ironic that was with a little smirk, and peered in.
There was a scuffle noise and Tauto knew he had uncovered their hideout and at that instant shone the light down the tunnel and like rabbits they were attracted to the light.A voice rang out and said...
"We ain't coming out!"
Tauto laughed and said.."Oh,you'll come out alright or this little box of matches will blow you out"
"You wouldn't dare!"
"Is that so? Do you really think that I give a fuck about spineless slugs like you.That's the second mistake you made by daring me" Tauto struck the match and all of a sudden there was..."NO,NO STOP! WE ARE COMING OUT!"
"How many more are missing,Reggie?"
"Ahh, one and she's a bias one"
"RIIIIGHT! Do you have any pigs here Reggie?"
"Yes, some big sows and one gilt."
"What? No Hogs?"
"No, well,there's the free games collectors and some people call them Hogs."
"I like you,Reggie you have a sense of humour."
"Okay.We need a pitchfolk and silence from here on in."
At the pen Tauto motioned for Reggie to stand back as he aimed the pitchfolk at the slopes trouth, but before he could let it fly....up jumped the last mod and bolted for the Backflip Office, screaming.
Tauto looked at Reggie and said between fits of laughter,"Holy shit,I wonder what would of happened if the pitchfolk had hit her."
Reggie was rolling on the ground laughing and nearly wet himself.
"Come on Reg, let's go and see the fun in the Office."
Back at the Backflip office the Commander was so impressed that he promised immunity to the tracker for a year at which Tauto replied "Stick it where the Sun don't shine as I have more fun with the PM's than the gutless bunch in the forum crying like little babies and stamping their feet for attention"
"But!! I thought you wanted to come back."
"And forever watching my P's and Q's like a gutless spineless worm like the rest in here that aren't protected by their buddy mods. Nope,that's not my caper so you can stick it!.....Seeya Reggie and get a bit more backbone and get rid of Backflip here, or is it Bing Bong Bang,now?"
