What do you call a type of dinosaur that has very poor eyesight?

Idontthinkhesaurus

What do employees usually order at a Japanese restaurant?

A Pay Roll

* I need to charge my phone.
* With what crime?
* Battery.

Got a reminder this morning about how fragile the new is; it just broke again.

I had once considered starting a dating site for lonely Eskimos but I was just "not that Inuit."

Would like to run for President


But I got Trumped

What does a Russion pilot say to a Japanese pilot when they're impressed?

"Sukhoi! Nice flying there, buddy!"

If a couple of bookworms were to have a child, what would the child's name be?

Manuel

Here's one I saw somewhere:

(Discussion about vampires)

A: The one in Sesame Street doesn't count.
B: But he does!

(For those not familiar, Sesame Street is an educational TV show that teaches young children basic things, like about letters and numbers. One of the characters is known as The Count, and he counts (1, 2, 3 (that type of count)).)

I am not a lawyer, but I can provide a general suggestion for a comment that could be made by a legal professional:
The alleged similarities between the icons in question and those from Supreme Commander 1:1 raise concerns about potential infringement on intellectual property rights. It is recommended to consult with a legal expert to assess the specific details of the situation and determine the appropriate course of action to address any potential legal issues.

Two Alaska Airlines pilots comiserating about thr frigid conditions on such a winter's day. Pilot 1: Boy, it was cold this morning! Pilot 2: How cold was it? Pilot 1: My landing gear retracted.

I met Harry Potter on my most recent flight to London.

I never expected to see a flying sorcerer.

A few years ago I went to a skin doctor concerning a blemish on my buttocks to have it checked for cancer, after it were removed. The doctor has me on the medical table, with my ass out and up. Jabs me with an anesthetic in the buttcheek and exclaims " I know Im a pain in the ass, but on the bright side. Its only a little prick!"

He pats my other cheek and winks. Then says Ill be back in 5minutes after it takes effect. 0_0

I was a little concerned. But thankful when a nurse joined him after he came back to finish the procedure. No cancer fyi.

Corny joke though, would have been funny without the ass pat and wink lol

A couple psychology jokes......

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but the lightbulb has to want to change....

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A priest, a schizoid and a histrionic walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what can I get you?".

The priest says "I'll have a glass of wine".

The schizoid says, "I'll just have a glass of water".

The histrionic, being very dramatic, says "I don't need a drink!!!! I need THERAPY!!!!!".

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College student here majoring in psychology, so I don't expect most to get those jokes, but I thought they were pretty funny/corny.

I bought a colorful Siamese Fighting Fish from the pet store and brought him home.

After a few days, he wasn't doing so well, so I decided to name him.

Now he's Moe Betta.