^Granted, but all the fans that hate your decision find you, and you wake up to an angry mob outside with pitchforks and torches.

Wish everyone looking at this thread knew that Peter Cook and Dudley Moore started it.

Granted, but this is achieved by the film Bedazzled being constantly repeated on TV over and over again and being the only video stream-able on any service for all eternity, except for Christmas day, then you get treated to Arthur 2 instead.

I wish John Carpenter would go back to making films.

Granted, but he goes with the vogue and everything is a Woke remake of a perfectly good existing film.

Wish the top 5% of filthy rich people would cough up to support the medical effort and the economy in this global time of need.

Granted! They pay for health care... to private companies, and for themselves.


I wish for kids around the world to learn the value of peace and live afterwards in peace, even if they play war as much as they want, knowing it is just playing.

Granted, but their lives are ruined by adults waging a real World War 3.

I wish the realization that royalty sucks wasn't so costly.

Granted, but there’s a big backlash and royalist start fighting in the streets, then...

Wish all the flying insects that live in the woods behind my house wouldn’t interpret an open window as an invitation to come in and fly around in front of my TV screen.

Wish granted. They now leave with your TV.

I wish I owned Alpha Centauri A and B, and Proxima too for good measure.

Granted, but the insurance is astronomical. You are bankrupt in two years. Living on the street in three…

Wish everyone were the person their dog thinks they are.

Granted; owners of large happy dogs become super-heroes, all owners of very small dogs like myself become gods, and dog-abusers become bondage-demons. The resulting war between good dog-owners and bad tears the world apart.

I wish my cat would stop falling behind the water-heater. (When this happened between it and the fridge, I had to tilt the fridge forward so she could find a path out between it and the washing machine. I put a jigsaw puzzle of Time Square over the offending gap, but she still falls between the heater and the counter, which she can get out herself but we worry the more she relaxes in there.)

Granted. Your cat is now far too fat to get behind the water-heater, or move very far.

Wish politicians would be less partisan and more responsive to the needs of the many.

Granted: All polititcians that don't fit your requirements leave politics.

Unfortunately, nobody appears to replace them, and those who are still in politics are too afraid to run for office; hence, we end up in a situation where, for President and Prime Minister elections, there are no candidates. As a result, countries no longer have leaders, which results in some rather unpleasant consequences.

Here's another possibility:

Granted. Unfortunately, they are only responsible to the needs of the majority, and as a result, minority groups end up being deprived of their rights and having atrocities committed against them.

I wish for a novel to be written in which the point is to repeatedly violate the reader's suspension of disbelief, even after the reader has come to expect that.

The novel is written, but it drives many readers to insanity and suicide, because they can't mentally deal with the paradox. The idea is traced back to you and you are prohibited by court order from ever writing something on the internet again.

I wish for a global and utterly merciless persecution of console gamers.

Granted. It’s called The Rocky Horror Picture Show and the novelisation is in all the best shops.

Wish people were nicer to each other.

EDIT: Sorry. Responding to the previous post.

EDIT:
Granted, but major motherboard producers go out of business and the PC market suffers with a huge increase in motherboard pries.

Wish education now, will prevent another generation of moon-hoaxers and flat-earthers.

Granted. People are indeed nicer to each other - because a totalitarian dictatorship makes national harmony its goal and has everybody sedated with mandatory drugs sapping free will.

I still wish for a cruel persecution of console gamers.

It's the Burning of Alexandria all over again as excellent Nintendo and PlayStation games are burned in piles and their fans (along with the Xbots, who lose nothing because all the good stuff is on Steam anyway) start a violent rebellion against the tyrannical regime. Meanwhile, mobile users continue to be pathetic money-farms to feed pure evil because your wish didn't involve them at all.

I wish all phone-whales -including the children- were sent to rehab.