^ Is suffering from a delusion that he's not a real person, and is actually my alternate account, even though it would be very strange for me to have made an extra account 5 years ago and not posted here with it until recently.

^ He knows all the facts in the case and his informant is this covert operative from east Asia:

^ He spends his free time spying on InSaintMonoxide, which is why he also knows that HeresMyAccount and every1hasnames are the same person suffering from Dissociative Account Disorder (previously known as Multiple Account Disorder.)

^He has stopped making baseless accusations.

^ Knows this because he is involved in the spying too.

^ He's just one step away from a Burn Notice.

^ He's just one step away from living under Martial Law.

^ He doesn't live in marital bliss.

^ He has a black belt in marital arts, if you know what i mean.

^ Likes to append, "if you know what I mean," to the end of every sentence, even when the meaning was literal and unambiguous.

^ He gets "marital arts" and "martial arts" confused; it's no wonder he's single.

^He is the dad that created every single lame martial art dad joke in the world. Heres some examples of his handiwork that has cursed the ears of kids everywhere.

What do you call a pig that does Karate? Pork Chop
What do you call a sheep that does Karate? Lamb Chop
What type of martial arts does a monkey practice? Kong-Fu
What type of martial arts do British people like? Kara-Tea
What do you call a red-haired kid who is excellent at karate? The Carroty Kid
What happened when the black belt joined the military? The first time he saluted, he knocked himself out.
Knock. Knock. Who’s there? Sensei. Sensei who? I sensei bad joke coming.
What is the favorite drink of martial artists? Punch
What martial arts came from Sweden? Ikea-Do

^ Did what his primary account, HMA, never managed to do.

^ Keeps confusing me for someone else!