^ banned for being Jimmy Hoffa's room mate

Banned for being D.B. Cooper's neighbour.

^ banned for being Theodore John Kaczynski's son

banned for not encouraging his son to become a hitman

Banned wanting to motivate others.

Banned because I want to make a joke about that, but I'm afraid it would blow up in my face.

Banned for being anti-motivation and anti-explosion.

Banned for being John Krasinski.

^ banned for (actually) being John Malcovich

Banned for being his hair dresser, and being unnecessary.

^ banned for making a six-figure income and doing virtually nothing at all

Banned because I'm actually unemployed, and I've never made anywhere near six figures, so the joke's on you!

Banned for using your free time to discover the moons Titania and Oberon.

^ He dated both of them, but only Titania was proud enough to let him "explore." He should be banned for that.

^ Yo bro. I'm so sorry for my insensitive post. You wanna cookie, a Hershey bar, or somthing?

Banned for offering me candy, to impersonate a pedophile with a van.

^ banned, because that must have been on heck of a huge chunk of candy

Banned because I wish it was Halloween.