Why do porn parodies always have to be of the XXX variety? I have a relatively tame alice in wonderland softcore porn on my dvd shelf that came out in 1976 and is actually a musical. There's sex and nudity in it but the movie retains a light and innocent feel to it while keeping a good movie pace (vs hardcore where extended scenes destroy the pacing like the ill advised later home release of this movie featuring XXX inserts).

here's the trailer (also SFW)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8fDfZPN-6Y

Hardcore is what's in right now. Uhm, no pun intended. In the '70's, there were cultural and, I believe, legal considerations that made softcore more appealing, as well as a feeling that anything can be art. Nowadays we've moved to excess in various forms and the idea that these are best for cash grabs, so it would make sense that our porn would focus more on the excess and, well, lack of artistry as well (not to say that these are necessarily bad, part of the fun of the porn parodies nowadays is that they're well made and have more to them than normal porn). Presumably, eventually our culture will become more prudish, or there will be an artistic porn renaissance, and softcore will come back into vogue.

mmmmmm...yellow porn....graaaahhhhhh

The softcore industry went under because in the long run, their whole premise was flawed. Trying to make sex movies without actual sex isn't something that people are going to be interested in after the novelty wears off. And in case of softcore porn movies, the novelty wore off decades ago.

The current porn industry is almost exclusively focused on satisfying the demands of their paying customers, so going hardcore is the lofical choice for them.

Very, very few people are audacious enough to explore sex as a powerful tool in artistic storytelling (which means, use sex for more than the obligatory love scene to bring some passion into the plot). If you're interested in modern attempts to use sex artistically, google for "Destricted". It's a 2006 compilation of some shorts, but also an ongoing project IIRC. Don't approach it with high expectations though ... it certainly has its weaknesses.

That said, Marco Brambilla's "Sync" demonstrates the interchangeability of hardcore flics pretty well, imho.

My problem isn't hardcore itself, it's the awful pacing. You won't hold my interest with static camera angles and 30+ minute sessions.

I skip large parts of the scenes myself.

I'm actually inclined to disagree with you there. Plenty of softcore films had more going on than the sex, and a few achieved mainstream popularity (after all, how many references to Debbie Does Dallas have you seen?). I think it was more cultural shifts that killed the softcore industry, not audience boredom.

Also, for the record, the Wikipedia page for stunt cocks is hilarious, for this line:

I demand a scene involving older Lisa and Princess Penelope.

I want Ron Jeremy to act as Barney.

Well, we are probably talking about different types of softcore. I was thinking along the lines of "School Girl Report XIII" or "Emmanuelle 7". I am/was under the impression that the majority of softcore works was similar: A couple of silly, often outright idiotic story lines that serve no other purpose than to fill the gaps between the alleged sex scenes which don't actually contain sex. Obviously, a sex film with no sex, which otherwise only contains an idiotic plot, awkward acting, and nothing else, is a bit of a self-defeating effort. By the 90s, the industry had realized that most of their viewers just wanted actual sex scenes and didn't care much for story elements, so they gave the audience what it wanted and flooded it with hardcore.

In a way it's a pity because artistic potential of the matter has never been explored.

Woah, woah, woah, School Girl Report XIII is a highly respected and deep film with deep themes, such as the nature of mankind, how love affects us all, and that the Catholic schoolgirl outfits are strangely hot. You take back that detestable slur on this fine movie, sir!

(The alternate joke was one about how they all sucked after the first one)

I always liked the terrible stories and how they just drop plot elements at a moments notice. Femalien built up the plot of a female owner losing her diner only to just drop it at the end and have girl on girl sex with the female alien to end the movie. Clueless alien Kara has sex with a guy to steal the money and get the deed back for nothing. Femalien though is an example of really pushing the definition of softcore sex because Vanessa Talor and Jaqueline Lovell really go at it to end the movie.

God, porn plots are amazing.

In that case, you may be the first person ever to whom I'd recommend "Galactic Gigolo". The 1988 movie tells the story of the alien Eoj, who is actually a giant intelligent ... broccoli ... that won a trip to Earth in an intergalactic gameshow, and that is now supposed to have sex with as many Earth women as possible.

In my opinion, it's quite possibly one of the 5 worst flicks ever made; one of the few movies that doesn't actually improve on staring at the blank screen for the same amount of time. But for people who _like_ sex-less sex flicks with silly plots, it's probably a revelation ... ;)

Found a trailer with a short clip. That looks beyond painful to watch. But hey, that same trailer had a clip of slave girls from beyond infinity. A girl in a bikini top slashes a monsters throat with a quick blow and despite the monster not touching her at all and her slashing him at a distance, she's somehow completely topless when they switch the camera back to her. That's some brutally hilarious editing right there.

DEAR GOD WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?!