You can view some basic videos online, but it's best if you can find someone who can teach you the basics IRL. If you go out to play with people the same level as you, you'll look less like a "moron", I guess. :-)

Another great option for flexibility and fine motor coordination. I recommend Foil, Epee will probably leave you sad, and don't be a brute, no Saber!

That's a good suggestion, I'll find people at my same level and a very sympathetic experienced player to coach us. Videos are a good idea too. There was a pool table in one of the dorms at my university; if only I'd had the foresight to take advantage of it when most students were in class / when I had an oddly-timed break.

Maybe when I start to improve very slightly, I'll find other people who are absolute beginners to bring along and look like I actually know what I'm doing! ;-)

Avoid pool halls on weekends imo, unless you do have your experienced buddy to fend off the sharks:)

Good luck and have fun! It's a pity you probably won't learn a type of billiards we play here (not very popular or even known elsewhere), because it's great.

If you're into movies at all, get a hold of a copy of The Hustler (1961). You won't learn anything about pool from it, but it's gonna make you want to play a lot!

Find Virtual Pool 3. Won't teach you to hold the cue but will lecture you on geometry and physics.

In best case, it can become a career (private eye). You can always put into your resume that you stalked all your girlfriends very successfully, online and offline.

One activity I've always enjoyed very much every autumn at my mother's house is picking up the apples that have dropped to ground (many of which already half.-rotten) and hitting them with a baseball bat mid-air. Just make sure you wear suitable clothes because soon the neighborhood will be smeared with small pieces of putrid apples.

Tennis. A couple of cheap rackets (second-hand graphite rackets are a good option if you're just starting out and not sure if the hobby will "stick"), a couple cans of Wilson or Penn balls, a willing partner and you're good to go. Find a public court or a cheap indoor rec center. Once you learn some fundamentals with groundstrokes and volleying and can properly serve a ball I've found it's a hell of a lot of fun. And a very complete aerobic workout, with all the swinging and running all over the court. It'll test your endurance. It's really helped by fitness playing tennis regularly.

If you can't find a willing friend, I'm partial to bicycling for long periods of time. Doesn't need to be off-trail mountain biking or whatever, even inter-city on infrequently traveled streets for a couple hours to give yourself a good calorie-burning workout, and to keep those endorphin/seratonin levels in check. You can combine that with running errands around town to get in a workout and get stuff done (plus saving on gas).

During winter physical activity is less fun, but if you can finesse the cold (or avoid it) it's rewarding.