There is always a time to pay the community back for it's awesomeness. Karma worked for me today, and I won MB: Warband on www.greenmangaming.com . But I already have this game.

So I will give a code for www.greenmangaming.com Warband (it's not redeemable on steam, but online game works) to the person who would make the most funny medieval style (archaic, pompatic, etc) insult. Like one knight to another. It doesn't need to be in "medieval" language, just in the spirit.

For example: You mouldy barrel of wine! I will make a bowstring out of your filthy guts and the bones I'll give to the dogs!

I know it's not the best example :D Buy you know what i mean.

The contest will last for THIRTEEN HOURS, to make number 13 a lucky number for someone.

The winner will receive 100% discount voucher for Warband on www.greenmangaming.com

/users who joined to GoG.com in July 2011 are not allowed to participate. I want to pay back the community, it means GoG users who are wandering around for some time :D)/

"You retched pile of meat! I will cut off ye ol' head and stick it on a pike. Then i'll take yer body and stick it another pike! And I'll stick those pikes on more pikes! Also I'll fuck yer mother!"

"You half warm mug of mead! You couldn't kill a dragon if it just came out of its egg, with only one leg and no tail! Your armor is more intelligent than you are. When, by accident, you rescue a damsel in distress, you have to ask your page what to do with her!"

"I look at you and your horse and I wonder if they gave the title to the right one"

This had me in stitches lol

bump

Thou has the private parts of a eunuch, the face of a bastard and smell like the armpits of a heathen Viking after a long journey, you godless Catamite, you. :)

Holly land of Christ! Is that your castle? I didn't know you can stack horseshit that high!

son of a witch

bump again! 4 hours left.

I already have the game too, but wanted to throw in.

"His father was so stupid, he died from drinking too much milk."
"How?"
"The cow fell on him!"

That actually was a funny middle-ages joke.

Lets quote Monthy Python from Holy Grail :)


French Soldier: You don't frighten us, English pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Arthur King," you and all your silly English K-nig-hts.

King Arthur: You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight.
[the Black Knight doesn't respond]
King Arthur: I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
[no response]
King Arthur: I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land who will join me in my court at Camelot.
[no response]
King Arthur: You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
[no response]
King Arthur: You make me sad. So be it. Come, Patsy!
[attempts to get around the Black Knight]
Black Knight: None shall pass.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: None shall pass!
King Arthur: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight. But I must cross this bridge.
Black Knight: Then you shall die.
King Arthur: I command you, as King of the Britons, to stand aside!
Black Knight: I move for no man.
King Arthur: So be it!
[they fight until Arthur cuts off Black Knight's left arm]
King Arthur: Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!
Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch!
King Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off!
Black Knight: No, it isn't!
King Arthur: Well, what's that then?
King Arthur: I've had worse.
King Arthur: You liar!
Black Knight: Come on, you pansy!
[they fight again. Arthur cuts off the Knight's right arm]
King Arthur: Victory is mine!
[kneels to pray]
King Arthur: We thank thee, Lord, that in thy mercy -
[cut off by the Knight kicking him]
Black Knight: Come on, then.
King Arthur: What?
Black Knight: Have at you!
King Arthur: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine!
Black Knight: Oh, had enough, eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

EDIT : Forgot to add I already own the game, so not entering. Just wanted to share Monthy Python humor.

Here is another:

How many Romans does it take to light a lantern? One thousand and one. It requires the Emperor of the Romans to order that the lantern be lit, Nine hundred and ninety nine Roman officials to pass down the order, and a slave to light the lantern.

2 hours left! And guys, remember! medieval knight insults, not jokes! And try to make your own!

A pox on thee! May your gizzard dry up and you die un-shriven! A curse on the offspring of a flea bitten cur!