Posted July 09, 2013
I have fondly memories of this game... (and some not so fondly, like when it came in several floppy discs, one time a week just like some sort of episodic game in some obscure magazine... ;p)
Post edited July 09, 2013 by Stooner
Stooner
still sober
Registered: Dec 2011
From Brazil
CrowTRobo
What?
Registered: Oct 2012
From United States
Posted July 09, 2013
LOL, that was the best one so far IMO.
+1, I'm in, but I doubt I'll win with these one-liners.
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
My friend died doing what he loved... heroin.
I stole those because I can't remember jokes except for this one:
Did you hear what happened to the peanut in the park? It was assaulted.
+1, I'm in, but I doubt I'll win with these one-liners.
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
My friend died doing what he loved... heroin.
I stole those because I can't remember jokes except for this one:
Did you hear what happened to the peanut in the park? It was assaulted.
Gazoinks
Is an AI
Registered: Dec 2011
From United States
Posted July 09, 2013
Not in, but allow me to share a pun I made up:
What do you call an outfit a work of music wears?
A three-piece suite.
Eh? Eh?
DrOblivious: In
OK, joke um........
Roberta Williams, Richard Garriot, and Peter Molyneux are sitting at a bar, when a man bursts in with both hands cut off, asking the three of them for help.
Roberta is happy to give him her medical supplies, but they are locked in a box that can only be opened with a combination of a fish and a lawnmower, and he'll need a mouse to get to those, and for that he'll need pliers ect.
Richard happily gives the man a hand-restoring machine he made, but the interface is so bad and it is so unclear as to what you even need to do that the man quickly gives up.
Peter promises not only to heal him and give him new hands, but the new hands will be the greatest hands ever seen by mankind, capable of doing things no one ever thought were, but in the end produces only a band-aid and a shot of vodka to disinfect the wounds.
After this, the man drops dead from blood loss, and everyone in the bar congratulates the three for their valiance in trying to save him.
Subtlety, what's that? Glorious.
What do you call an outfit a work of music wears?
A three-piece suite.
Eh? Eh?
OK, joke um........
Roberta Williams, Richard Garriot, and Peter Molyneux are sitting at a bar, when a man bursts in with both hands cut off, asking the three of them for help.
Roberta is happy to give him her medical supplies, but they are locked in a box that can only be opened with a combination of a fish and a lawnmower, and he'll need a mouse to get to those, and for that he'll need pliers ect.
Richard happily gives the man a hand-restoring machine he made, but the interface is so bad and it is so unclear as to what you even need to do that the man quickly gives up.
Peter promises not only to heal him and give him new hands, but the new hands will be the greatest hands ever seen by mankind, capable of doing things no one ever thought were, but in the end produces only a band-aid and a shot of vodka to disinfect the wounds.
After this, the man drops dead from blood loss, and everyone in the bar congratulates the three for their valiance in trying to save him.
Subtlety, what's that?
Post edited July 09, 2013 by Gazoinks
Thespian
Fascinating!
Registered: Mar 2012
From Spain
Posted July 10, 2013
Temporal paradox BUMP!
chezybezy
CSA / nuts :)
Registered: Dec 2012
From United Kingdom
Posted July 10, 2013
would you accept my fav comic strip or a vid of one of my fav moments in a film?
comic: see attachment.
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIj7XX6aL54:]Film:[/url] Skip to 0.26 to 0.46
and yes im holding off anything Star Trek / Halo related.
my joke databanks are sorta on hold atm. and i really dont mind if you dont want these technically its not the joke type you were after.
comic: see attachment.
[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIj7XX6aL54:]Film:[/url] Skip to 0.26 to 0.46
and yes im holding off anything Star Trek / Halo related.
my joke databanks are sorta on hold atm. and i really dont mind if you dont want these technically its not the joke type you were after.
klaattu
Registered: May 2011
From Spain
Posted July 10, 2013
Here's one more joke
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Please count me in and thanks 011284mm
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
Please count me in and thanks 011284mm
Rendercatz
New User
Registered: Jun 2013
From Ukraine
Posted July 10, 2013
Hey, I am in
I like this joke:
One of the life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
I like this joke:
One of the life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
mondo84
hwgr
Registered: Apr 2011
From United States
Posted July 11, 2013
Thanks for the giveaway, 011284mm! I'm in.
Here are a couple of jokes I randomly made up:
- Why did the Steam user cross the street?
- Because it gave an achievement.
- Why do GOG users not like having dreams?
- Combining "EA" with "DRM" is never a good thing.
Cheers and thanks again!
Here are a couple of jokes I randomly made up:
- Why did the Steam user cross the street?
- Because it gave an achievement.
- Why do GOG users not like having dreams?
- Combining "EA" with "DRM" is never a good thing.
Cheers and thanks again!
triock
Can You Face Your Fears?
Registered: Feb 2010
From Slovakia
Posted July 12, 2013
BUMP
risingcomet
New User
Registered: Jun 2010
From Turkey
Posted July 12, 2013
Time Commando.. What a classic.
011284mm
Magicarp4TheWin!
Registered: May 2012
From United Kingdom
Posted July 13, 2013
Thank-you to everyone who took part. I really like the jokes all around, but the three below (yes I chose three) all get a copy of Time Commando.
You should find the codes PMed to you within the hour.
Thespian*: A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“ I always loved this joke.
Lifthrasil: There is a party on the roof terrace of a skyscraper. Two quite drunk guests are talking and one observes: "The wind between these skyscrapers is friggin strong! I bet a hanky couldn't even fall here!" he takes out a handkerchief and throws it over the balustrade. Sure enough, the updraft catches the handkerchief and blows it back on the roof.
The other man says: "I wonder if it's strong enough to lift an empty can!" He throws an empty beer can, and indeed the wind picks it up and blows it back on the terrace.
The first man says: "I bet that also works with people!" Before the other can stop him, he jumps over the balustrade, falls a few meters and then is miraculously picked up by the wind, flies back up and lands safely on the terrace.
"Wow!" the second man gasps. "I have to try that too!" He jumps over the balustrade and drops screaming to his death.
A third one who has been watching, says reproachfully to the first: "You know. When you are drunk you really are an asshole, Superman!" !!!!
mondo84: - Why do GOG users not like having dreams?
- Combining "EA" with "DRM" is never a good thing. This made me chuckle, especially as I can never remember dreams and I now know why.
So I got another copy for you.
You should find the codes PMed to you within the hour.
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
The other man says: "I wonder if it's strong enough to lift an empty can!" He throws an empty beer can, and indeed the wind picks it up and blows it back on the terrace.
The first man says: "I bet that also works with people!" Before the other can stop him, he jumps over the balustrade, falls a few meters and then is miraculously picked up by the wind, flies back up and lands safely on the terrace.
"Wow!" the second man gasps. "I have to try that too!" He jumps over the balustrade and drops screaming to his death.
A third one who has been watching, says reproachfully to the first: "You know. When you are drunk you really are an asshole, Superman!"
- Combining "EA" with "DRM" is never a good thing.
So I got another copy for you.
011284mm
Magicarp4TheWin!
Registered: May 2012
From United Kingdom
Posted July 13, 2013
I like this joke:
One of the life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds.
If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby..
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.
If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit!”
― Erick S. Gray
Post edited July 13, 2013 by 011284mm
mondo84
hwgr
Registered: Apr 2011
From United States
Posted July 13, 2013
Thank you to 011284mm and congrats to the other winners! :)
triock
Can You Face Your Fears?
Registered: Feb 2010
From Slovakia
Posted July 13, 2013
Congrats to the winners and thanks for giveaway 011284mm.
Lifthrasil
Bring the GOG-Downloader back!
Registered: Apr 2011
From Germany
Posted July 13, 2013
Thank you very much for the game 011284mm! I redeemed the code and I'm looking forward to traveling through time.