Posted January 25, 2023
Sachys
Woodie Guthrie's Guitar!
Registered: Dec 2011
From United Kingdom
CarChris
Hiding in plain sight.
Registered: Dec 2019
From Greece
Lord_Kane
Leaf Kaigai Nikki
Registered: Mar 2009
From Canada
CarChris
Hiding in plain sight.
Registered: Dec 2019
From Greece
sanscript
Ltd. DeepSeeker
Registered: Jul 2011
From Norway
Posted January 31, 2023
What is Cole's Law?
Thinly sliced cabbage.
Thinly sliced cabbage.
user deleted
New User
Registered: Jan 2014
From United States
Posted February 01, 2023
A man is praying to God. “Lord,” he prays, “I would like to ask
you a question.”
The Lord responds, “No problem. Go ahead.”
“Lord, is it true that a million years to you is but a second?’
“Yes, that is true.”
“Well, then, what is a million dollars to you?”
“A million dollars to me is but a penny.”
“Ah, then, Lord,” says the man, “may I have a penny?”
“Sure,” says the Lord. “Just a second.”
you a question.”
The Lord responds, “No problem. Go ahead.”
“Lord, is it true that a million years to you is but a second?’
“Yes, that is true.”
“Well, then, what is a million dollars to you?”
“A million dollars to me is but a penny.”
“Ah, then, Lord,” says the man, “may I have a penny?”
“Sure,” says the Lord. “Just a second.”
dtgreene
vaccines work she/her
Registered: Jan 2010
From United States
Posted February 01, 2023
One I just saw:
5 ants rented an apartment with 5 other ants. This means there are now ten ants (tenants) in the apartment.
5 ants rented an apartment with 5 other ants. This means there are now ten ants (tenants) in the apartment.
AnimalMother117
New User
Registered: Dec 2013
From United States
Posted February 01, 2023
In a similar vein to OP:
Two guys are in the waiting room to heaven. The line is taking a while so they strike up a conversation.
The one asks the other, "So, how'd you end up here?"
The other responds, "Oh, I just feel awful. I was certain my wife was cheating on me, so I came home early from work today. I made a big stink of it and started making all these accusations and yelling at my wife about how I knew he was here and I was going to find him. Well, I searched all throughout the house and could not find anybody else. I felt so terrible that I just died right there."
The first man then said, "You know, if you looked in the freezer you could have saved us both."
Two guys are in the waiting room to heaven. The line is taking a while so they strike up a conversation.
The one asks the other, "So, how'd you end up here?"
The other responds, "Oh, I just feel awful. I was certain my wife was cheating on me, so I came home early from work today. I made a big stink of it and started making all these accusations and yelling at my wife about how I knew he was here and I was going to find him. Well, I searched all throughout the house and could not find anybody else. I felt so terrible that I just died right there."
The first man then said, "You know, if you looked in the freezer you could have saved us both."
LiefLayer
I'm darkness
Registered: Jul 2013
From Italy
Posted February 01, 2023
I know a variation of this joke but I think it only make sense in italian
A guy enter in a café, splash!
(in italian it make sense because caffè is coffee and café (some pronunciation) is a bar.
Another variation that you can tell after the first one
A guy enter in a cold café, splash, brr!
A guy enter in a café, splash!
(in italian it make sense because caffè is coffee and café (some pronunciation) is a bar.
Another variation that you can tell after the first one
A guy enter in a cold café, splash, brr!
user deleted
New User
Registered: Jan 2014
From United States
Posted February 01, 2023
Two guys are in the waiting room to heaven. The line is taking a while so they strike up a conversation.
The one asks the other, "So, how'd you end up here?"
The other responds, "Oh, I just feel awful. I was certain my wife was cheating on me, so I came home early from work today. I made a big stink of it and started making all these accusations and yelling at my wife about how I knew he was here and I was going to find him. Well, I searched all throughout the house and could not find anybody else. I felt so terrible that I just died right there."
The first man then said, "You know, if you looked in the freezer you could have saved us both."
timppu
Favorite race: Formula__One
Registered: Jun 2011
From Finland
Posted February 01, 2023
This morning, when I was pondering how bad jokes AI makes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nH_bEtbfB9U
I came up with an equally bad door-joke:
"Knock knock"
- "Who's there?"
"The Doors."
That's the kind of joke computer AI could probably come up with.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nH_bEtbfB9U
I came up with an equally bad door-joke:
"Knock knock"
- "Who's there?"
"The Doors."
That's the kind of joke computer AI could probably come up with.
Post edited February 01, 2023 by timppu
user deleted
New User
Registered: Jan 2014
From United States
Posted February 04, 2023
Some turtles went on a picnic. It took them ten days to get there, and when they arrived, they realized they’d forgotten the bottle opener, so they told the littlest one to go back for it.
He said, “No, as soon as I go, you’ll eat the sandwiches.” They promised him they wouldn’t, so he left. Ten days passed, twenty days, thirty days. Finally, they were so hungry, they decided to eat the sandwiches.
As soon as they took a bite, the little turtle came out from behind a rock and said,“See? That’s why I’m not going.”
He said, “No, as soon as I go, you’ll eat the sandwiches.” They promised him they wouldn’t, so he left. Ten days passed, twenty days, thirty days. Finally, they were so hungry, they decided to eat the sandwiches.
As soon as they took a bite, the little turtle came out from behind a rock and said,“See? That’s why I’m not going.”
LiefLayer
I'm darkness
Registered: Jul 2013
From Italy
Posted February 04, 2023
What does a Swiss say when he gets home?
Home Swiss home
Home Swiss home
simiritipandey
New User
Registered: Apr 2023
From India
Posted April 10, 2023
That's a funny joke! It plays on the idea of turtles being slow and taking a long time to do things. In the joke, the littlest turtle doesn't trust the other turtles to keep their promise, so he stays behind to make sure they don't eat the sandwiches. When they finally give in and eat the sandwiches, the little turtle appears, proving his point that they couldn't be trusted.