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borisburke: Wish the dark ages hadn't happened.
Granted. Science advanced faster, and destroyed the world through nuclear war some time in the past.

I wish that the nuclear bomb had never been invented.
Granted, but Japan's attempt at world-conquest lasts into the 60's the U.S. gives up just like they did with Vietnam.

I wish Carl Marx got an honest job on a farm, thus never starting Marxism.
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MichaelD.965: Granted, but Japan's attempt at world-conquest lasts into the 60's the U.S. gives up just like they did with Vietnam.

I wish Carl Marx got an honest job on a farm, thus never starting Marxism.
Wish granted. However, Marx' memoirs, entitled 'Animal Farm', instigates animal rebellion worldwide (while Orwell's The Capital is a moderately successful novel about the future). Dogs now own you. And cats own dogs.

I wish a primordial black hole would engulf the moon, just for the spectacle.
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StarChan: I wish a primordial black hole would engulf the moon, just for the spectacle.
Granted, but the black hole also engulfs Earth, and all life as we know it is over.

I wish Tyrian 2000 would go on sale, as it's currently too expensive.

Python 3.7.3 (default, Dec 20 2019, 18:57:59)
[GCC 8.3.0] on linux
Type "help", "copyright", "credits" or "license" for more information.
>>> "FREE" > "9.99"
True
>>> "FREE" > "$9.99"
True
See, even Python says it's too expensive!
Granted, but this leads to howls of outrage among Gog users who don't think a game is too expensive when it's actually free. As a consequence, Gog loses most of its customers and goes bankrupt. And since your wish is to blame, you're prevented from downloading any files from your collection as a punishment, before the site closes down forever.

I wish for a successful Earth colony on Mars.
Granted, the Nazis have been thriving there for 80 years.

I wish Adolf Hitler was accepted into art collage.
Granted, but he doesn't finish his studies due to the outbreak of war in 1914 and everything in his later life is exactly the same as in our timeline.

I wish for Donald Trump to be my buddie, to invite me to golf and to get me the best escort girls.
Granted, but you have the same hair.

I wish we had spring already.
Post edited August 31, 2020 by MightyFloTheKing
Granted, but your wish has created a rift in the space-time continuum leading to the collapse of the entire universe.

I wish for gladiatorial games to be allowed again (under the provision that I myself won't be forced to fight in them).
Granted, but you have to clean up the mess, after every single fight.

I wish sports was less about the show and more about the sports again.
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morolf: I wish for gladiatorial games to be allowed again (under the provision that I myself won't be forced to fight in them).
Granted, and they draw huge crowds. Unfortunately, those games turn into COVID-19 superspreader events, and therefore have to be suspended, and they don't pick up again after that.

I wish that the Europeans has not been successful in colonizing the Americas.

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MightyFloTheKing: I wish sports was less about the show and more about the sports again.
Granted, but professional sports disappear entirely, and college sports now no longer get as much attention; they're more like high school sports.

Furthermore, universities lose funds as a result of the loss of ticket revenue.
Post edited August 31, 2020 by dtgreene
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morolf: I wish for gladiatorial games to be allowed again (under the provision that I myself won't be forced to fight in them).
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dtgreene: Granted, and they draw huge crowds. Unfortunately, those games turn into COVID-19 superspreader events, and therefore have to be suspended, and they don't pick up again after that.

I wish that the Europeans has not been successful in colonizing the Americas.

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MightyFloTheKing: I wish sports was less about the show and more about the sports again.
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dtgreene: Granted, but professional sports disappear entirely, and college sports now no longer get as much attention; they're more like high school sports.

Furthermore, universities lose funds as a result of the loss of ticket revenue.
Wish granted. You no longer exist, making everyone else in this thread exceptionally happy.

I wish Neptune had a weirder orbit.
Granted, Neptune zig-zags north and south at sharp turns because Neptunians invoke artificial seasons by building an electro-magnetic ring under their orbit (and let's say they have a tin core, I guess); thousands die with every flip of the switch and asteroids of the Kuipler Belt are commonly sent on dangerous orbits. Pluto is sent out of the solar system completely, further enraging Planet Pluto Puritans.

I wish Pluto was classified as a comet to begin with so nobody would get worked up.
Post edited August 31, 2020 by MichaelD.965
Granted, but this upsets a violent sect of Plutonians who think Pluto should be classified as a planet. They start a brutal campaign of terrorism and incinerate you when they learn you think Pluto is merely a comet.

I wish that somebody would do something about the problem with incels.
Post edited August 31, 2020 by morolf
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morolf: I wish that somebody would do something about the problem with incels.
Granted: Now everyone is an incel, and being an incel is no longer considered bad. Hence, no more incel problem.

I wish there were a game I could purchase for less than the current price of Tyrian 2000.