Granted, just move to the opposite hemisphere from where you are. Easy peasy.

I wish the work week was 2 days long and the weekends were 5 days long.

Granted, but the ensuing hangovers will be at least twice as long and you still don't get paid for the days you do not work, resulting in mass poverty and financial instability. Furthermore, our society will come to a halt as hospitals close down, banks refuse to stay open and shops are closed five days of the week. Eventually the economy will come crashing down and we will end up living in a dystopian world where the gap between the rich and the poor is wide and unassailable. Most of us will be forced to live in shanty towns with no electricity, fighting starvation as we slowly die from disease. Meanwhile the rich aristocracy will take over the few remaining sources of energy and build an empire of their own; using the desperate among us as slaves.

I wish I was able to drink and feel pleasantly intoxicated without suffering from a massive hangover the next morning.

Granted, no more massive hangovers but now the morning after effects of intoxication is massive hemmoroids till it wears off.

I wish the internet was full of kindness and consideration instead of all the trolling and hate mongering and anger that seems to be prevalent wherever you go.

Granted, now the internet has a secret police force for this purpose. And you've just became one of the suspects that they will soon come to "correct" you. This means you won't be able to see the now peaceful and friendly places in the internet, cleaned of trolls and hatespreaders.

I wish I knew the spell to "heal" my PC (and of course, the mana needed for this).

Granted. You cast the spell to heal your pc and expect magic but nothing happens. You curse at the spellbook and walk away. 45 minutes later your doorbell rings. The person at the door says he's an employee of Best Buy's Geek Squad. Voila! The spell worked after all. As you settle up, the "mana" he charges from you is an arm and a leg. Literally. That's the cost of using magic in the real world.

I wish for Alabama to lose one game before the regular season ends.

Granted, but it's Obama who lost in Alabama :D.

I wish I knew the spell to summon a new SSD onto my desk for my laptop, teleported magically fresh from a SSD factory.

Granted, but sadly it's a DOA (Dead On Arrival) unit and when you get in contact with the manufacturer they not only denied you any kind of guarantee, also file a complaint for tresspasing and theft at its factory. I hope you've a good lawyer...

I wish that my PMs don't end up lost in limbo, as it has happened to me several times with lengthy messages.

Granted, but you forget how to type & send messages.... bringing an end to your PMs once and for all !

I wish cows could fly.

Granted, but if it's already annoying to receive a "gift" when a dove flies you over, imagine with a cow! And as many of them seem to show affection to you and they now follow you everywhere, nobody wants to be less than a kilometer from you...

I wish people to be less noisy at places like public libraries.

Granted, all public libraries close indefinitely.

I wish I had more patience with games these days

Granted, but you enjoyed the games so much and became so sucked in. Then you're starting to lose patience if you're disturbed by anything while you're playing. And when you got fed up, you kicked and threw your machine. Now you can't play anymore.

I wish I could make the temperature inside my computer while being used to be always as low as if it weren't turned on.

Granted but because the temperature is no longer warm or hot, a family of spiders moves in and starts laying eggs. One day you come home and not only find your pc not working due to the cobwebs inside but hundreds of spiders have taken over that room and start spreading out to other areas of your place.

I wish I knew what the wish that was granted in post 801 actually meant.

Granted
But eat bad cake and have stomache.

I wish we should stop corrupting wishes and start granting them.

Granted, but we start with my one.

I wish we could stop granting wishes and begin corrupting them again.

Granted, but your wishes will be corrupted in ways most odious and darker than those of any other forum member, which will feed a underlying paranoia of yours that soon will make you one of the inmates of an insane asylum...

I wish to be able to levitate at will.