Granted thoguh you realise you're a son of a b****
I wish i had a waist
ahem i hope i didn't put my foot in it by being too harsh?
i'm a newbie i know. i'll be Humble in future. Moms are ace, and i meant no offence only trying to play the game, soz if i got it wrong

Waist not, want not.

I wish I could control time like the Prince of Persia.

Granted, you can now control time like the Prince of Persia, except that when you use your powers, your bodily functions are dramatically and uncontrollably increased as a result of the time-shifting, so each time the world slows around you, you have to have a change of clothes...

I wish I could play the Harp with my feet.

Granted, but now you have no arms and look like a disjoint land crab when you find it necessary to pleasure yourself.

I wish a fate, such as the above, never befalls me.

Granted, but now you're truly sorry or your wish, because you've neither arms nor legs, so no way to pleasure yourself if necessary...

I wish to have no concerns at all.

Granted. How do you feel after the lobotomy?

I wish for CD Projekt RED to take over Nintendo's Virtual Console service and bring on the games en masse to PC.

I support this. But since the thread's requirement is for someone to corrupt it, here goes:

Way to go, slugger! You've managed to crash the world's economy for the next few years, as people pour so much money into this that they stop buying physical goods. I hope you're happy. :p

I wish I had enough money to affect the world's economy... kind of like Bill Gates.

Granted, you are heir of Bill Gates but the revelation crush your mind and you get very crazy, killing monkeys in zoo, hamping trees, eating your noseshit, getting an arrow to the knee and dying at young age.

I wish to get all women pregnant, with MY seed.

Granted, but your children are all horrible Cactuar/Human hybrids, and pray fervently for death.

I wish to write the greatest book ever!

granted, but it will burn before its published.

I wish to play video games all day.

granted but you lose them all (and your libido)
I wish to save the panda

Granted. The Panda confessed to a religion just before it died and is now in the afterlife of your choice.

I wish for CD Projekt RED S.A. to RULE THE WORLD!

Granted, didnt you know they already do? (who do you thnk the Illuminati are?)

I wish that Order of the Flame was available on GOG!

Unfortunately, someone misread that, and what you wind up with is a game based on the webcomic Order of the Stick.

I wish we had an Order of the Stick game that wasn't just somebody's Flash-based private project.

Granted, order of the stick is released in GOG as the most expensive game ever. GOG loves gamers so it sponsors it. Unfortunately making a game for just a single player takes a toll on gog as it goes bankrupt. You die in shame without ever showing your face to the people.

I wish I could make rain at will.