^ Is crazy! Why would anyone do that?!

^ because he's a crazy

^ Is almost as crazy as me. That's why they chickened out and stopped at the second cooling rod.

^ Is the chicken who crossed the cooling rod to get to the other side.

^ Never bought a game on GOG.

^ He occasionally plays a good old game of kick the can, because it's the only one for which he can remember the rules.

I actually have bought thousands of them. You've only sold used digital copies.

^ He got kicked in the can and couldn't play.

^ Their parents starred in the twilight zone episode featuring said game.

^ His parents taught him and only spoke to him in the tongue of the ancient Hittite's as a child, allowing him no other human contact until he was beyond a certain age, just for the purpose of ensuring that in the English speaking world, he would have a really silly sounding accent.

^ He still speaks Classical Greek (among old friends like me).

^ He only speaks in classic rock song titles.

^ "She's buying a Stairway To Heaven."

^ He's on the highway to hell.

^ On the Road to Nowhere.