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^ Had a rhinoplasty procedure involving a real rhinoceros horn used as a surgical tool.
^Can't jump high enough to defeat Bowser.
^ Cannot grapple well enought to defeat Wart.
^ survived the Cambrian Explosion.
^ Lost a chess game to a pawn
^ Pours alcohol in his coffee.
^ Pours alcohol into a fuel tank.
^ purchases gasoline with up to 10% ethanol added
^Ever since he became sexually active, he has only had silent farts.
^ his fart is heavily metallic, according to astrophysicists. containing mostly of heavier atoms than hydrogen and helium.
^ His flatus contains an unusually high amount of methyl mercaptan and hydrogen sulphide.
^ Is fluent in mongolian and regularly provides me translations for my favorite soap opera.
^ He's not quite certain as to where the term "soap opera" originated.
^ He's not quite certain as to where the term "Quixotic Knight" originated.
^ He doesn't know who Don Quixote is.