Weve got jokes, weve got discussions, but we do not apear to have chap up lines.

If you have any stick em here.

Ill start with one that i guarenee works in some conditions.


"hey your hot, does this smell like chloraphorm (sp)

I usually use these two...

"Excuse me, could you help me load this sofa into my van?"

Do those work? Lol

Sigh, it's "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

My current girlfriend got me with the nice shoes meme.

Guy: Hey baby, did it hurt?
Woman: Did what hurt?
Guy: When you fell from heaven and slammed your face into concrete.
Woman: Wait, what?
Guy: You're ugly as sin.

Works every time.

HAHAHAH! +1

Guy: I hope you have a good insurance policy.
Woman: Why?
Guy: Because you just made a huge dent in my pants.

"My friends call me tri-pod."

Make that +2.


Keep em coming folks.


"Get your coat you've pulled" to be used at the end of the night when all the good ones are already taken.

"Hey Billy, you want some good cock?"

Works. Every. Time.

"The word of the day is 'legs'. Let's go to my house and spread the word."

"I'm a level 80 Paladin." comes to mind.

Fast and Loose has some great improvised ones. ;)

Since i don't chat people up, i don't feel well when left alone with someone, especially someone of different sex.
I once said something like this, and only moments later caught the terrible double meaning.

"Have You got enough beer? 'Cause i sure could use more" "Because You've landed in shit." ;)




Here's a bonus from F&L:
"Have You got a pen? Yes? Then go back in it, love."

You get Fast and Loose in Poland? The one with Hugh Dennis in?

I didn't really like it, to me it was a massively talented cast doing not-very-funny things for half an hour.