So based on your logic, any free man is an hedonist because everything they do is based on what they want to do.

That seems like an overly broad definition.

I certainly wouldn't put myself in the same boat as those who spends most of their waking hour taking drugs or trying to get laid.

That's the territory you'll cover in any philosophy class on the subject. The definition of "pleasure" and the pursuit thereof doesn't have to be looked at in terms of only unhealthy, short-term pleasures. Pursuing long-term goals is every bit as hedonistic as chasing immediate gratification. Hedonism is just a way of living where you try to maximize your pleasures and minimize displeasure. Even doing a good deed can be hedonistic by this light.

I prefer the term well being over pleasure, because it is more all encompassing.

My other problem with your definition is that you say "your pleasure".

I think there needs to be a balance between what you want and what everyone else wants.

It is a simple logical extension to determine that because there is no preordained goal to life, therefore there is no preordained importance to a particular life (even your own) and therefore a balance between people is sensible.

Have to disagree here. Time doesn't heal the wounds... doing stuff heals them.

For that kind of stuff, yes it does.

Not really. It is the things you do that make your life easier afterwards, not the time that passes. Time can only make a break up worse.

Such as what ? How do you forget somebody you really love ? The only thing you can do is live on.

Develop new hobbies.

-Start reading. There's a book thread around for suggestions, I recommend awesome crime novels, anything by Hammett is about as cool as it gets.

-Meet new people. Meet new women. Look up swing dancing or salsa dancing classes, go get your hands on other people in a social environment and learn new skills in the process.

-Start a creative masterpiece, or even a pathetic attempt at one, to funnel your energy into something. I worked on the worst web comic ever for a little while in my time of desperation, and boy did it help, even though it was awful. Write. Write a lot, create a private blog for yourself or something, to have a good outlet, start a journal.

-Work out. Get superfit. Benchpress, your body will change dramatically in a very short period of time. Jog, go to the gym, anything. Push-ups in your room. Scream at yourself in the mirror before and after.

-Start baking things. Cooking is fun and attractive as a quality, it can only improve your collection of skills if you start making more food.

-Play a video game. Play one that you know you want to play over again, or play something new.

-Watch movies. A TV series. Anime. Anything. Comedies. I'm watching Seinfeld right now just because I like it and wanted something to fill the Curb Your Enthusiasm void, but I could watch them all day. Watch Curb Your Enthusiasm if you haven't. Early Simpsons, Adventure Time, Arrested Development, hopefully some classic you haven't happened upon yet.

All of these things are based on the idea that you need to do something to fill your time, which has already been brought up. The opposite sex is not everything; there are worthwhile cultural and personal pursuits that you need to attend to as well.

You can have all the time in the world... but all you'll do is linger and hope the one you love returns... which he/she may very well never return, but you'll still long for him/her. This is what time does.

EDIT: How to forget somebody you love? By leaving behind everything that reminds you of him/her. By going out with friends, by getting a job, by keeping your mind occupied on something else, and by meeting new people and hanging out with them. (the two most important thing).

EDIT2: Mind you, you will never truly forget him/her. But at least, you will have other things to look forward to in your life.

The goal is not to hope for her/his return, the goal is to forget about the person and move on.

In other words, to live on.

And that's exactly what we mean by "time heals wounds". To me, time is still the main factor. This is not an exact science, and again, there is nothing specific that you can do about it, unless you have perfect control over your feelings, which I highly doubt if you call yourself a human being.

And of course I agree with your edit2, I never said otherwise.

If you value other people's pleasure (or "well being," if you want to get semantic) as well as your own, and you incorporate that into your way of life, you are still doing what you want. Thus: hedonism.

I believe you're focusing on the common, negative stigma that the word "hedonism" carries, where it's all about selfishness at the expense of others. It's really just the idea that, all else being equal, pleasure is better than pain.

A masochist actually enjoys what most would consider pain, so the words "pleasure" and "pain" must be expanded to mean what you want vs. what you don't want. If you want to give to charity and you do so, then you're being a hedonist. If someone else forces you to give to charity against your will, then you're not acting toward your own ends and thus are not being a hedonist (regardless of whether the outcome was good or not from a utilitarian perspective).

That is a very good interpretation for life philosophy. Although its obvious that nihilism is not so great, i find that of the three i am a mix between hedonism (pleasure) and a bit of pre-determinism. I enjoy getting pleasure from be it games, hanging out with friends, mingling with people, movies, but feel that i have to earn almost everything that i do. So for example, i wake up mostly everyday and say i have to earn whatever i am looking forward to at the end/middle of the day. So working out in a tough exercise schedule gives me the right to enjoy things more. Of course i dont always have to earn everything, but it sure helps.

This topic really has gone strayed off course.