Yep, much like my dog sometimes tries to squeeze between the bed and the wall in the morning in an attempt to lick my face (she knows she's not allowed on the furniture), I've decided to squeeze in a contest to take advantage of the last days of the sale. I should've done something like this sooner, since almost half my shelf is my spoils of victory from past contests, but better late than never eh? Up for grabs is $15 dollars worth of GOGs of the victor's choice. Winner takes all.

So, here's how this is going to work. I will ask a series of questions. You lot answer in this thread as you see fit and I will, in a completely inconsistent and arbitrary manner, assess the submissions and choose a winner at a time in the very near future when the following conditions have been fulfilled:

1) I decide enough answers have been submitted.
2) I have nothing better to do
3) I damn well feel like it.

Right folks, the questions are as follows:

1) If you are a dwarf, you often find yourself doing what?

2) Which famous character or historical figure at one point was physically unable to not end every single one of his or her sentences with the phrase "without my pants"?

3) The best classic sitcom character is:

a- Dr John Becker
b- George Costanza
c- Dr Frasier Crane
d- Frank Spencer

4) Which of the following statements about the great and amazing person that is yours truly is incorrect?

a- My cousin starred in Underbelly Razor and a guy I went to high school with was a contestant on the most recent season of Beauty and the Geek Australia.
b- Besides gaming, my spare time is dedicated to political activism (primarily anti-censorship and pro fiscal responsibility).
c- Though as a kid I attended a Catholic primary school, I am currently a strong atheist.
d- I have a permanent scar on my armpit due to an incident in Singapore involving a waterpark changing room hook, me climbing around like a dickhead on said changing room hook (in my defence, I was a kid) and me slipping and impaling my armpit on said changing room hook and having to go to hospital to get twelve stitches.

5) You find yourself chatting to an individual you find extremely attractive. You seem to hit it off but suddenly said individual starts getting acting as though (s)he is irritated by your mere presence. What do you do?

6) You learn that the game you've been counting down the days until release is going to be heavily censored in your country (amirite, fellow Aussies?) Do you:

a- Buy the game without worrying about it. After all, you don't need gratuitous sex and violence to enjoy a good game.
b- Import an uncensored copy. I don't care what it takes, I will play the game exactly as it was intended to be played. Customs be damned.
c- Purchase a local copy and download a mod to return it to its original state. Ah mods, the bane of any classification board's existence.
d- Something completely different (if so, please explain).

7) Of the following, which is more annoying?:

a- Talking to you.
b- Trying to use one of these stupid drinking fountains (especially when idiots piss in them).

8) Avatar: Good movie, or piece of shit?

9) You are about to sit down to lunch. Your preferred meal is:

a- Chicken schnitzel with chips and gravy.
b- Egg salad sandwich
c- Lamb vindaloo with garlic naan and mint yoghurt.
d- Beef nachos with sour cream.

and now for the final question:

10) You shoot your arrows in the air sometimes, saying what?

Righto, that's that. Enjoy!

1) If you are a dwarf, you often find yourself doing what?

A: Drinking....lots and lots of drinking. And digging for gold while hiding the gold I have dug up from the prying eyes of those pesky elves.

2) Which famous character or historical figure at one point was physically unable to not end every single one of his or her sentences with the phrase "without my pants"?

A: Pete from "Round the Twist"

Sauce

3) The best classic sitcom character is:

E. Kramer from Seinfeld

Or if I have to pick from the list......then George Costanza(just a short bit in front of Dr Becker, and then Frasier)

4) Which of the following statements about the great and amazing person that is yours truly is incorrect?

A: b- Besides gaming, my spare time is dedicated to political activism (primarily anti-censorship and pro fiscal responsibility).

To me you seem like the kind of person who'd lean towards atheism and the last bit about the hook seems too silly to be true but i'm still guessing it is. I also think you might have celebrity(sorta) friends and relations for some reason.


5) You find yourself chatting to an individual you find extremely attractive. You seem to hit it off but suddenly said individual starts getting acting as though (s)he is irritated by your mere presence. What do you do?

A: Ask her if anything is wrong, or if you did something wrong. If she says something innocuous while twiddling her hair she's probably lying, but this is a good sign as that means she isn't frustrated enough to want to lose you so she is still interested. If she complains and lists things she thinks you're doing wrong in an uppity tone dump her ass......people that are that critical aren't worth hanging around or onto, imo.

6) You learn that the game you've been counting down the days until release is going to be heavily censored in your country (amirite, fellow Aussies?)

A. D.....sort of like c, but instead of mods download an uncensored copy from a torrent and just keep the censored copy as a way of showing to yourself and others that you went the legit route.

7) Of the following, which is more annoying?:

A. B...Drinking fountains

8) Avatar: Good movie, or piece of shit?

A. Never saw it. Though I may someday just to see what all the fuss is about.

9) You are about to sit down to lunch. Your preferred meal is:

A. My answer is A.....mainly because it looks damn good, almost like chicken tenders or something.

[Not into Lamb much or egg salad(though tuna and ham salad are delish.) I'd pick Nachos but I don't like sour cream unless it's a flavoring for potato chips and such.]

10) You shoot your arrows in the air sometimes, saying what?

A. Ay-oh, that creeper's KO'd!

And sometimes I just say OMG OMG OMG, please don't hit me in my knee again.

1) If you are a dwarf, you often find yourself doing what?

- Having sex with my short, hairy and bearded wife, without my pants.

2) Which famous character or historical figure at one point was physically unable to not end every single one of his or her sentences with the phrase "without my pants"?

- Me, without my pants.

3) The best classic sitcom character is:

- David Lister, without my pants. Well duh, without my pants.

4) Which of the following statements about the great and amazing person that is yours truly is incorrect?

b- Besides gaming, my spare time is dedicated to political activism (primarily anti-censorship and pro fiscal responsibility without my pants).

5) You find yourself chatting to an individual you find extremely attractive. You seem to hit it off but suddenly said individual starts getting acting as though (s)he is irritated by your mere presence. What do you do?

- I leave without my pants.

6) You learn that the game you've been counting down the days until release is going to be heavily censored in your country (amirite, fellow Aussies?) Do you:

b- Import an uncensored copy. I don't care what it takes, I will play the game exactly as it was intended to be played. Customs be damned, with or without my pants.

7) Of the following, which is more annoying?:

a- Talking to you without my pants.

8) Avatar: Good movie, or piece of shit?

- Quite a good movie when wieved without my pants.

9) You are about to sit down to lunch. Your preferred meal is:

b- Egg salad sandwich, hopefully withtout my pants.

and now for the final question:

10) You shoot your arrows in the air sometimes, saying what?

- I yell "CREEPING BARRAGE" without my pants.

1) If you are a dwarf, you often find yourself doing what?
Punch people in the balls.


2) Which famous character or historical figure at one point was physically unable to not end every single one of his or her sentences with the phrase "without my pants"?
William Wallace, leader of the scottish independance war.

3) The best classic sitcom character is:
I'm from France and I've seen none of this shows, but if I have to pick one of them I'd say:
b- George Costanza

4) Which of the following statements about the great and amazing person that is yours truly is incorrect?
a- My cousin starred in Underbelly Razor and a guy I went to high school with was a contestant on the most recent season of Beauty and the Geek Australia.


5) You find yourself chatting to an individual you find extremely attractive. You seem to hit it off but suddenly said individual starts getting acting as though (s)he is irritated by your mere presence. What do you do?
I just ask her if I've said something wrong or offending.

6) You learn that the game you've been counting down the days until release is going to be heavily censored in your country (amirite, fellow Aussies?) Do you:
b- Import an uncensored copy. I don't care what it takes, I will play the game exactly as it was intended to be played. Customs be damned.


7) Of the following, which is more annoying?:
Talking to you while trying to use one of these stupid drinking fountains. Brublebl lbb blrubl b.
8) Avatar: Good movie, or piece of shit?
Descent movie. Now considering it's a blockbuster: great movie!

9) You are about to sit down to lunch. Your preferred meal is:
c- Lamb vindaloo with garlic naan and mint yoghurt.


and now for the final question:

10) You shoot your arrows in the air sometimes, saying what?
PAYBACK FOR THE KNEE!!!

1) Extracting pieces of food from my beard
2) Silvio Berlusconi
3) George Costanza
4) a
5) I smell my armpits
6) b
7) b
8) Aesthetically very good, apart from that meh
9) Can I have pizza?
10) WTF AM I DOING

First thank for this great contest
And now the answers:

1) If you are a dwarf, you often find yourself doing what?
Stepping over my beard

2) Which famous character or historical figure at one point was physically unable to not end every single one of his or her sentences with the phrase "without my pants"?
Napoleon

3) The best classic sitcom character is:
d- Frank Spencer

4) Which of the following statements about the great and amazing person that is yours truly is incorrect?
d- I have a permanent scar on my armpit due to an incident in Singapore involving a waterpark changing room hook, me climbing around like a dickhead on said changing room hook (in my defence, I was a kid) and me slipping and impaling my armpit on said changing room hook and having to go to hospital to get twelve stitches.

5) You find yourself chatting to an individual you find extremely attractive. You seem to hit it off but suddenly said individual starts getting acting as though (s)he is irritated by your mere presence. What do you do?
kiss her

6) You learn that the game you've been counting down the days until release is going to be heavily censored in your country (amirite, fellow Aussies?) Do you:
c- Purchase a local copy and download a mod to return it to its original state. Ah mods, the bane of any classification board's existence.

7) Of the following, which is more annoying?:
b- Trying to use one of these stupid drinking fountains (especially when idiots piss in them).

8) Avatar: Good movie, or piece of shit?
piece of shit

9) You are about to sit down to lunch. Your preferred meal is:
a- Chicken schnitzel with chips and gravy.



and now for the final question:

10) You shoot your arrows in the air sometimes, saying what?
Today, I will not Die

1) If you are a dwarf, you often find yourself doing what?

Funny you should ask that, because I am indeed a dwarf and I often find myself appearing in fantasy role-playing games. Relatively few people want to play the beardie tank, so I usually wind up as a non-player character or in a relatively minor role in the party - the guys with high CHA are better at running the plot-show-thing so they get all the attention. I don't mind. When I'm not a party member, I can be found playing the role of the village blacksmith who speaks in a somewhat Scottish accent and drinks dwarven beer, which is always ale or stout, never lager.

2) Which famous character or historical figure at one point was physically unable to not end every single one of his or her sentences with the phrase "without my pants"?

I care not, because I'd like to point out that there's a grammatical error in the sentence. It should be "Which famous character or historical figure at one point was physically unable not to end every single one of his or her sentences with the phrase "without my pants"?"

Also Hitler.

3) The best classic sitcom character is:

I haven't got a television. As a result I only recognize one name. As a result I have to answer C. Terribly sorry.

4) Which of the following statements about the great and amazing person that is yours truly is incorrect?

c- Though as a kid I attended a Catholic primary school, I am currently a strong atheist

For a dwarf, I'm very slim, lightweight and physically weak.

5) You find yourself chatting to an individual you find extremely attractive. You seem to hit it off but suddenly said individual starts getting acting as though (s)he is irritated by your mere presence. What do you do?

I know what she's doing because I've seen someone else do it a few times. First you act interested, then you act as if you're not interested in your target/you are interested in his/her friend. I know that eventually she'll "change her mind" again, knowing that by then I'll be sold a million times over. So I'd play along, wind up in bed with her and - here's the really clever bit - turn out to be such an amazing lovemaker that she couldn't possibly follow her original plan of leaving quietly in the morning. Job done.

6) You learn that the game you've been counting down the days until release is going to be heavily censored in your country (amirite, fellow Aussies?) Do you:

d- Something completely different (if so, please explain).

Buy the game when it appears on GOG. If GOG gets the censored version, there must be something so fundamentally wrong in the world that it is clearly not worth living in.

7) Of the following, which is more annoying?:

b- Trying to use one of these stupid drinking fountains (especially when idiots piss in them).

I've seen other people use them time and again, but I've never been able to operate these drinking fountain things properly. I only know how to feed them cupcakes and liver casserole, but not once have I been able to make them drink.

8) Avatar: Good movie, or piece of shit?

I haven't seen it, but I have a friend who likes terrible music, bad games and rubbish films. He liked Avatar so - by the power of inductive logic - it's most likely really awful. This logic is why I've never seen the movie, by the way.

9) You are about to sit down to lunch. Your preferred meal is:

a) Chicken schnitzel with chips and gravy. Inexpensive, filling and reasonably difficult to cock up even if you have to work in a kiosk your brothers built into the back of a Ford Transit.

10) You shoot your arrows in the air sometimes, saying what?
"My other ranged weapon is an AK-47!"

1) If you are a dwarf, you often find yourself doing what?
Mining for the Dwarf Fortress.

2) Which famous character or historical figure at one point was physically unable to not end every single one of his or her sentences with the phrase "without my pants"?
Pete Twist.

3) The best classic sitcom character is:
c- Dr Frasier Crane. Even though he isn't Australian.

4) Which of the following statements about the great and amazing person that is yours truly is incorrect?
a- My cousin starred in Underbelly Razor and a guy I went to high school with was a contestant on the most recent season of Beauty and the Geek Australia.

5) You find yourself chatting to an individual you find extremely attractive. You seem to hit it off but suddenly said individual starts getting acting as though (s)he is irritated by your mere presence. What do you do?
I excuse myself and go to the bathroom, giving her time to do whatever kept her from continuing to enjoy our time together. If she's still acting strange afterwards, I give her an option to back out painlessly, but try to get her number so that we can keep contact.

6) You learn that the game you've been counting down the days until release is going to be heavily censored in your country (amirite, fellow Aussies?) Do you:
c- Purchase a local copy and download a mod to return it to its original state. Ah mods, the bane of any classification board's existence.

7) Of the following, which is more annoying?:
b- Trying to use one of these stupid drinking fountains (especially when idiots piss in them).

8) Avatar: Good movie, or piece of shit?
Decent if shallow.

9) You are about to sit down to lunch. Your preferred meal is:
a- Chicken schnitzel with chips and gravy.

10) You shoot your arrows in the air sometimes, saying what?
"Gotta defend against those invisible gazebos!"

1. Looking from below.
2. Rocco Siffredi, I guess.
3. Frank Spencer.
4. Though as a kid I attended a Catholic primary school, I am currently a strong atheist.
5. Continue as if nothing had happened.
6. d, I don't buy it.
7. Trying to use one of these stupid drinking fountains (especially when idiots piss in them).
8. I haven't seen it.
9. Chicken schnitzel with chips and gravy.
10. Carpe Diem!

1. As a dwarf I'd totally fool with GOG's server gnomes, just for the fun of it.
2. Leisure Suite Larry, at least while I played the poor bugger.
3. D
4. C
5. Try to remember the Witcher's secrets of success with women.
6. A for violence, B on Steam for everything else.
7. B, definitely. I hope... ;)
8. Good movie, at least theme wise.
9. B
10. Come on, hit the stupid knight's shield, I want that damned achievement in Trine 2!

) Playing secondary roles in feature films. Except for the Hobbit. Curse Peter Jackson and his forced perspective technique!
2) Napoleon
3) a- Dr John Becker... at least until the end of season 4 when they replaced Regina with that annoying woman, Chris. (This is one of the few TV shows I watched consistently, at least the reruns.)
4) Hmm, a tough one, but A.
5) Give a swift elbow jab behind me to incapacitate her boyfriend standing there and make my escape while dodging bullets behind a giant Chinese gong Indiana Jones style.
6) d- just avoid it. I don't need the gratuitous sex and violence to enjoy a game, but I dislike censorship.
7) b- Trying to use one of these stupid drinking fountains (especially when idiots piss in them).
8) Closer to crap than a good movie.
9) a- Chicken schnitzel with chips and gravy.
10) "Why am I even doing this?!"

And thanks for this contest!

1) Exercising. How am I supposed to keep my muscles so big without a good work out routine?

2) President Nixon in Futurama. He's just a head in a jar!

3) George Costanza. My head is starting to turn shiny, too.

4) A

5) Offer a strong alcoholic drink.

6) B. I don't want to buy the game locally because some of that money would likely go to the entity that censored it.

7) B. Drinking fountains disgust me but sometimes I have to use one. It really annoys and bothers me when that happens.

8) Decent movie, but I prefer the original "Dances with Wolves" over this remake.

9) B. Though, I don't know what most of those are!

10) "To infinity, and beyond!"
Alternatively, "Please don't become like that coke bottle in The Gods Must Be Crazy. Things could get messy."

1) If you are a dwarf, you often find yourself doing what?
As I am an immigrant from another fort with no useful skills (soap apparently we already had 4 soap makers, but how would I know that?!) my job is to polish and engrave the rock walls, to make them more pleasing for the other dwarfs. The work will soon drive me insane though, and after half a year I'll start engrave images of myself eating cheese in other dwarfs bedrooms, or engrave images of images of cheese, whichever tickles my fancy at the moment. My work does not stop when the goblins attack, oh no, I'll continue to engrave these rock walls, even if it is the last thing I do.
And that it is. One of my fellow dwarfs goes bonkers after a few years (he lost his wife to a carp, his cat was thrown down a chasm for bone farming and on top of all, he has been eating the same darn food for over a year now. You can grow other things than plump helmets, but no, that is too complicated for our dear overlord), as he decides to pull the forbidden lever, and thus floods everything with lava. Such is the life of a dwarf, short, brutal, painful, boring and filled with elephants.

2) Which famous character or historical figure at one point was physically unable to not end every single one of his or her sentences with the phrase "without my pants"?
Drottning Maragerta I (Queen Margaret I)

3) The best classic sitcom character is:
c- Dr Frasier Crane
(who are the others?)


4) Which of the following statements about the great and amazing person that is yours truly is incorrect?
a- My cousin starred in Underbelly Razor and a guy I went to high school with was a contestant on the most recent season of Beauty and the Geek Australia.

(Underbelly razor? Sounds... strange)


5) You find yourself chatting to an individual you find extremely attractive. You seem to hit it off but suddenly said individual starts getting acting as though (s)he is irritated by your mere presence. What do you do?
Continue what I'm doing. She is only testing me... right?

6) You learn that the game you've been counting down the days until release is going to be heavily censored in your country (amirite, fellow Aussies?) Do you:
c- Purchase a local copy and download a mod to return it to its original state. Ah mods, the bane of any classification board's existence.
d- Something completely different (if so, please explain).

I would first download a mod/patch (no green blooded zombies in my Carmageddon 3, no matter what you German people might think of red as a colour!), then I would make a point of how horrendous the game we got was by spreading the word about the restored content, in order to make the censor toothless! Fight the power!

7) Of the following, which is more annoying?:
b- Trying to use one of these stupid drinking fountains (especially when idiots piss in them).

I'm not that bad of a conversation partner, I promise!


8) Avatar: Good movie, or piece of shit?
Either, depending on who I want to impress.


9) You are about to sit down to lunch. Your preferred meal is:
c- Lamb vindaloo with garlic naan and mint yoghurt.

(home made, of course)

and now for the final question:

10) You shoot your arrows in the air sometimes, saying what?
Why would I say anything? It is just the air, it can't hear me (and why would I try to shoot something into it in the first place?)


*edit*
Now 50% more tidy!

1) I often find my self dwarfing others. So if now I'm a dwarf, I'll probably get dwarfed by others.
2) Pantaleone.
3) C, for he is the Beast.
4) A, if you're Australian, you hate censorship, no religious person would play atheist (even if lying), the accident is too well detailed and absurd to be false.
5) Leave, there are other atractive bitches around. Better spend my time finding them.
6) C, I actually did it with Carmageddon 2. Though it took some years to find the mod.
7) B, You can't beat a pissed drinking fountain (ugh!)
8) Avatar is not a movie, just Cameron's Tech Demo. But it does suck if you think of it as a movie.
9) D, I'm a carnivore. BEEF!!!
10) Sometimes saying: "DIE, YOU BITCHES!", most of the times it's "DIE, YOU BASTARDS!!!"

1) If you are a dwarf, you often find yourself doing what?

A: Drinking heavily, picking the remnants of the latest meal from my beard, and badmouthing those damnable Elves.

2) Which famous character or historical figure at one point was physically unable to not end every single one of his or her sentences with the phrase "without my pants"?

A: Julius Caesar (why do you think Brutus finally did him in?)

3) The best classic sitcom character is:

c- Dr Frasier Crane

4) Which of the following statements about the great and amazing person that is yours truly is incorrect?

d- I have a permanent scar on my armpit due to an incident in Singapore involving a waterpark changing room hook, me climbing around like a dickhead on said changing room hook (in my defence, I was a kid) and me slipping and impaling my armpit on said changing room hook and having to go to hospital to get twelve stitches. (I heard it was your elbow...)

5) You find yourself chatting to an individual you find extremely attractive. You seem to hit it off but suddenly said individual starts getting acting as though (s)he is irritated by your mere presence. What do you do?

A: Put on my pants.

6) You learn that the game you've been counting down the days until release is going to be heavily censored in your country (amirite, fellow Aussies?) Do you:

c- Purchase a local copy and download a mod to return it to its original state. Ah mods, the bane of any classification board's existence

7) Of the following, which is more annoying?:

b- Trying to use one of these stupid drinking fountains (especially when idiots piss in them) - the least they could do is leave the seat up.

8) Avatar: Good movie, or piece of shit?

A: Both. Great visuals, which makes the movie well worth seeing. Bad story, but it's still worth seeing.

9) You are about to sit down to lunch. Your preferred meal is:

c- Lamb vindaloo with garlic naan and mint yoghurt. (easier to store in the beard to have a snack later while drinking)

and now for the final question:

10) You shoot your arrows in the air sometimes, saying what?

A: "Go for the knee, Boo! Go for the Knee!"


*edit* Oh, I'm not in it for the prize, so please skip me. Just entered some answers for the fun of it.