This is a good question and it will depend on the situation and the possible rewards.

I would try to look at the entire picture first. As the most interesting part in RPGs are usually main quest or main storyline plots that evolve around your character's actions, I would usually choose the nicer option or the option that enables me to help people around my character and see the NPCs express their appreciation.

Most RPGs come with a lot of sidequests nowadays. As the sidequests tend to have a lot of variety, but tend to have less impact in the game world, I would try to do and complete as many sidequests as possible, some of which may be grey, shady or evil, if just to gain the experience reward or a unique quest reward item.

Some RPGs like the Neverwinter Nights series where party members will reveal more information about themselves and give a party member bonus when you have gained enough influence with them, I will usually try to find out each character's likes and motivations and experiment with different conversation options before going for the best conversation options to max out influence with them.

So it would probably be a mix of roleplaying and min-maxing, depending on the amount of content in the RPG.

I used to role-play and take what the dice gave me, but now I would re-roll and try to optimise.

If there's the option, I'll play my preferred style of stealthy but deadly assassin. I don't like to leave anyone standing, so pure stealth and avoidance bores and frustrates me. I tend to try play as I prefer to rather than some preset best character build. If it transpires that my character build or game approach isn't working....I cheat!