Are you tired, because you've been running around my mind all day!

Seriously, I'm going to sit down and take notes from this thread because I havn't had a girlfriend in sixteen years and I need all the help I can get.

I joke about everything; I only wish I was joking about this. *weep*

I assume you're making a comprehensive list of all the things you shouldn't do. Because otherwise, it would probably be cheaper to just hire a hooker. Certainly less than spending money fighting off restraining orders.

I was thinking about something of that sort. Although I just wanted to send in something that was a lil crazy so that act like a mad magazine preamble...

I think Ostriches is a little worse.

What?! Ostriches are awesome! In King of Dragon Pass there were raiders that rode ostriches and IT WAS EPIC.

Good call my friend! Good call!

I generally find that if you do actually use something of that sort (Depending of course on how comfortable and familiar the girl in question is with you and the fact that your slightly bonkers)....it does elict something like "shutt upppp xxx, I am going to kill you. HAHAH"....like for eg when you send a text message to a hot girl that insinuates that she is fat.

^^The above is an actual eg of the sort of responses that I usually get.....I haven't used the ones in the OP as yet though and I was just wondering...

Hmm, perhaps if the OP shows her his "peacock" she might be intrigued.

I would be the first to clown on this dude for his original post, were it not for the fact that I won my woman over with some really stupid crap that now makes me wonder WTF I was high on early in our relationship.

Then I look back on previous relationships and wonder why they didn't work out, because I did so much more right.

I know it's cliche but I'm resigned to the idea that we guys truly can never understand women or their weird thinking patterns.

Here's a conversation we had tonight:

Her: I'm going to go to register for the wedding tomorrow. Wanna go?
Me: Um... no.
Her: Do you care what kind of pots and pans I get?
Me: Pots and pans are different? Can't they all be used to, like, cook stuff?
Her: I mean, I was just wondering whether you cared about <explains 5 different ways in which pots and pans can differ>
Me: <blinks> Just make sure you can cook stuff in 'em.

Edit: And yes, I know there are guys that are expert cooks out there, just sayin'. Apply this to something like colors, if you prefer. Somehow most women seem to be able to detect the difference between 1,000 different shades of red.

We're not ALL like that. :P

You mean you don't recognize about bazillion different colors while I see like 4?

edit: I used the word 'Like' twice in a single sentence. I think my aging process is reversed.

With you on the colors thing. Is there something about being female that gives you better eyes or what?

You might go all old-fashioned and write some poetry for her. (Or steal some from someone versed in love-poetry).

You know, a very wise (although fictional) teacher once said:
"What do we learn language for?"
'To communicate?'
"No. To woo women! ... Today we are going to talk about Shakespeare."

If we ever do a secret santa around here you're so getting some Pantone swatches to help with the color recognition. Maybe even these.
He must've been a very lonely fictional teacher if he was trying to woo women with Shakespeare's poetry xD

Oh no, that we totally do. :P

Nah, just kidding. :D