Both are touching on that initial, visceral grieving that comes right after the death. The almost animal, unreasoning grief that is all-consuming and inconsolable. This eventually gives way to a different kind of grief, the kind which will stay with you the rest of your life but which is of a different timbre. See "the five stages of mourning" for how the process typically unfolds. The wake I see as beginning the process of shepherding people into the last of those stages.

Of course the wake is more for than the living than the dead. All of these processes are, whether they are a funeral or a celebration or some other social ritual. The dead want for nothing.

The funny thing is that his legal career focused on cases striving to bring about racial equality. It would be easy to pigeon-hole him for the anti-gay stuff but that's just one part of the story. Not disagreeing with you, but pointing out the disparity of civil rights between different ethnic groups versus civil rights of differing sexualities, especially from one active in civil rights and the legal system.

Interesting history of the guy.

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While I really disagree with the manner in which he (and the "church") put out its anti-gay message (and the message itself), my feeling is that overall his actions were a good thing for humanity: the peaceful counter-protests, the discussions it started, etc.

A bit torn on this one. Ofttimes it takes a bad thing to bring out the good in others.

I will only say one thing - Scroll of Resurrection!

I'm sadly too well aware of the five stages of mourning. The time and ways to process and cope with all the feelings of the first stages varies from individual to individual (not to mention that the actual relationship they had with the demise also plays a big role) and I think that the wake takes place way too soon for it to function the way you describe it at least for a number of people, and that's why wakes are usually a bit grim. Commemoration gatherings hold a few months or a year later usually offer a better opportunity and premise for people to (re)act in the way you mention.

True enough, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. The timescale is also affected by how much time you have to prepare for the death in question. My step-father was diagnosed with aggressive and metastasised cancer more than a year before his death, so the process began for us then.

My personal inclination is to prefer a wake, but everyone must decide for themselves what is the appropriate response in each case. This is not a thing that has one right answer.

So true.

Now that is the way to handle this! Makes me feel like a real asshole for being so mean spirited and childish...that is waaaay cool. :D +1 for the link.

BTW While the Empire State Building does actually light up like that they haven't done it in a while thus that pic really doesn't have anything to do with Mr Phelps, but it is still beautiful.

Because hes a scumbag by any rational pesons barometer.

Um... wasn't he picking and choosing the "hate"? What does that tell you about him?

"Easy life" - ?? The only people who seem to have an easy life are those who lie, cheat, seek power over others, and make money from the hard work of others. Saying "I choose to follow Jesus" does not automatically grant anyone an "easy" life.
I've seen this idea mentioned a few times here, and it boggles the mind. I'm amazed that some people think that God's love is "not worth anything" if everybody gets it. Why is the idea that God loving everybody is "unfair"? "God loves me more; therefore, I'm better than you." Sounds like a human characteristic projected onto God.

I realize your simply trying to be overly antagonistic here, but clearly you have never read The Bible. While the old testament is full of "God is a vengeful God" badness, there is a fairly significant second part... You know, what Christianity is based on.

And before everyone explodes into some religion rant, I myself do not practice any religion and have no feeling on this other than get the facts straight instead of take cheap shots on a day we should all be pleased this clown has gone to the bigtop in the sky.

If this turns into a religious rant I will be forced to post my picture of a mouse committing necrophilia. You have been warned! :D

To my knowledge he just spewed hateful ideology. I won't dance on someone's grave for that. I was cheering when they shot Bin Laden though.

Please, stay on topic :) Here's a nicer picture :)

When I was looking up Mr Phelps the other day I found a picture of someone photobombing one of his marches with an "God Hates Signs" sign. No word on if he was dragged away and beaten after the pic was taken.