The dad had the point, but he stoop to the same level as his teenage daughter. So, while one task of parenting is to set limits and rules to your kids, this father was not really acting like a parent, but a teenage (bully) kid.

That is NOT the way to make your kids love you more in the long run. But maybe that is not what that father was after, but respect through fear?

(Side note: I think you were actually replying to a different sentence than the one you quote, i.e. the one about spying on the kid's facebook account.)

Regarding your reply: That's fair enough. Of all the points I listed, the "spying" is certainly the most acceptable one. Personally I'd be very reluctant to do it, but it depends on the kid and on the situation. Ideally, if there's an atmosphere of trust and honesty, then I don't see a need for maximal surveillance. Practically though, such an atmosphere may be difficult to achieve and maintain. And if I get the feeling that something bad might be going on, then I'd look around too ... though it's a gradual process, e.g. I'd need to be _very_ worried before I'd consider reading my kid's diary, but I wouldn't exclude it either. Spying on a facebook account is less problematic (since it's less private than a diary), but I still wouldn't do it without any indication to be worried.

But it's one of the (many) aspects of parenting where there are no clear-cut, context-independent rules or recommendations, imho.

However, regarding your kid, I have a hunch that (if she's got anything from you) she will be smart enough to find ways to privacy that you won't find out. ;) It just depends on how much effort she wants to put into finding such a way, and it of course gets easier the older she gets.

As Orchishgamer says, you're entitled to your opinion. Hell, I used to have the same opinion. My own children, however, have taught me that those opinions were far too idealistic.

And as you'll see from my first post in this thread, I don't agree with what he did to the laptop, but that doesn't change the fact that the child's behavior is not necessarily the direct result of the parent's method of upbringing as you seemed to have suggested in your response to that post.

I can't help but think that was an overreaction. Yes it was bad what she did, but throwing $130 out of the window and publicly humiliating her? Bit too much.

Just change her facebook password and use a HOSTS file to prevent her from connecting to Facebook.

The amount of attention whoring oozing from this thing is disgusting... it's like people feel morally obliged to post every single **** they do on the net nowadays. :|

You know, under most contexts this would be considered the action of a crazy person. Piss me off enough and this is how I respond. And look, I clearly see this as an acceptable reaction as I record it and post it on the internet.

Responding to frustration with violence and a bid to publicly humiliate? Yeah, some great parenting there, good job.

I posted a lot about this on another forum but, really, this is how I see it:

- this is only one side of the story

- father is hypocritical: whines about letter on Facebook viewable by a few friends hurting people and then posts a vid that goes viral and then is seen by millions yet states she's in no way being emotionally scarred or harmed from this

- he's the type of father that would shoot expensive stuff instead of selling it/giving it away. Says it all right there

Seriously, if you have a father who would go so far to do this, you have to wonder if maybe he wasn't responsible for how his daughter is acting not to mention that a vid like this, any parent will tell you, only makes matters worse. He's a very poor parent for doing this and should not be acting so morally superior. On top of that, if my father had destroyed my computer as a teenager, I'd have lost tons of homework so well done, great parenting skills right there.

Seriously, she's a teenager - what's his excuse? He's American?

I don't agree with the shoot at the lappy part but he is my new hero.

Too many parents forget that school isn't a playground. It's a combination of long dull days that stress the mind with a myriad of social pressure to conform or to "belong". When you then come home and get shit from your father who thinks being at school is "relaxing" and it's time to do some "real work", then it can easily piss you off when you're treated like a maid.

I used to be in that place - I had homework which often took two hours to do and by the time I was done, dinner was ready. After dinner? Dishes. And it pissed me off because I did them under pressure and wasn't asked - I was commanded. I didn't even get an allowance back then. I couldn't afford to even go out on weekends and had little freedom in my life. I got bullied at school for wearing outdated clothes because I didn't have money to buy my own and my father didn't let me pick.

Then I basically rebelled - I switched schools under heavy protest of my father - the bullying combined with the situation home meant I had zero drive to study and no motivation.

It all goes to show - from the kid's perspective, things can be very different. The parent sees it as his kids doing part of the chores but that's not how it goes. Teenagers have enough emotional crap to deal with already and school is a real social battlefield. I can easily say that despite the extra responsibilities, grown ups have it a LOT easier because you have the experience, the freedom to do what you think is best, you can actually make choices instead of being pushed along and work environment is generally a lot more civil than school environments (just ask teachers).

Spoiled kids are spoiled.

silly thing that he destroyed the laptop (sell it, charity) but I kinda agree with him. What she said does not sound as horrible choirs. and not comparing it to some poor families. They sound like normal things a teenage girl/boy supposed to do at home.

This person is insane megalomaniac!

He don't even hear what his own daughter tried to say, he don't care about anything but the job and dishes. Talks about respect all the time, on the other hand shows himself as extremely arrogant redneck-minded non conformist.

Father and daughter don't understand each other.
She is too young to realize the problem in whole.
The guy, however, is too damn selfish to try to establish an honest dialogue with the 15 years old girl!

Gosh, it amazes me how people lacks the communication sills some time.

From my perspective if the children don't really like their parents, its mainly because of the parents :((

Very true. And it's disheartening to see so many people defend him. Teenagers have personal issues - they have to deal with complex emotions and emotional baggage and then you have a father that sees his daughter as a sort of chore machine? Instead of sitting down with her, confronting her with the letter and talking it over, he decides to do THIS and that proves that there's a very good chance he's been the cause of all this shit. You give your kids respect, they respect you back. Giving items because they're asking for it isn't respect - it's buying silence. Respect is treating them like adults and not shooting stuff you first give them and then act as if it's your own again.

I do not agree with this thesis.

I can not tell that I didn't have my own personal issues as teenager but that was not any excuse to say bad words about parents in public. Today's teenagers are living in different times but it is still no excuse to behave like that.

There are only 7+1 bullets in Colt 1911, it's not that hard to count them ;)

Newsflash: Facebook & Twitter is the main channel to vent their frustration. Let them vent - where else will they vent? They can't vent against their parents because look what they do: they shoot your laptop to pieces. The father is the one acting as a child here - and she didn't say it to the public either because, since he was blocked, it means her profile was set to private (for someone in IT, he sure sounds like a dumb ass).

The first day a teenager doesn't need to vent about their parents being jerks, the world will explode. See all those idiots in the real world? Most are parents. Parents fuck up all the time as well. And teenagers may be spoiled, but that doesn't mean the parents can't be wrong.