That certainly shows :-D

Yes, he is, but I meant that I found it funny when you posted, word for word, the exact same thing as me, before editing in a "WTF?"

Use that host a mafia! Do it! Do it! Do it!

I was working an angle in Prague, many years ago. I'd found my mark, the daughter of a wealthy businessman. Seducing her was almost too easy. Child's play, really, she had the mental faculties of a rock. The con couldn't have gone smoother. Easiest million euros ever earned. Just as I was planning on making my escape, however, the bitch gets emotional. I suppose I can't blame her. I am, after all, really rather good at what I do. So, she fell in love with me. Against my better judgement, I decided to stick around for a few days, let her down easy. I guess I was feeling sentimental. Big mistake.

She betrayed me. She told her father about us, and he, understandably upset over his decimated fortune, figured out it was me, and sent some goons my way. I had to make my escape real quick, or it'd be bye-bye for a career of lies and deceit that, honestly, had probably gone on for longer than one could hope for. I fled easily, but I got a nasty surprise at the end.

But you'd know all about that, wouldn't you? After all, you prescribed that STD medication I've needed to take every day since. Women. Tricks. Hos. All of them.

Vorgoeth, out.

Weren't you that guy in the bar? We started drinking and at one point they said it was last call and we just showed them what last call really means?

Too bad the cops weren't on our side man... no drinking during the job... what kind of job is that?

Lol, I posted the same thing on Akwater's Facebook page before this thread was even started!

I remember it well. There I was strolling through the park, and you were there up a tree trying to get a shot of Mrs McGinty in her underwear. I saw your foot miss its hold, and ran forward and vidoed the whole fall on my my phone. It was a youtube hit! As you impacted the ground you had the look of a man that realised the total inhumanity that society has generated. Following that you tracked me down and kicked me sharply in the nuts. We've been best enemies for ever since.

Ahh those days.

Heh that's a good idea, but that sounds like a lot of work, which isn't compatible with my laziness.

We met at summer camp!

I am sure it went something like this...

Knock, Knock, Knock …

Akwater: Hello.

Me: Hello, my name is Lou and I am from Lighthouse Baptist Church. We are just
out this morning inviting people out to church. Do you have a church that you
normally attend?

Akwater: No, not really. I haven’t been to church in years and I don’t have any means
of transportation.

Me: Well, we would really love to have you come and visit with us. (Hands Akwater a
Gospel Tract and Bus Ministry Information) In fact, if you look at the information
you will see we have a Bus Ministry and we pick up numbers of people in the area
who do not have a way to or from church.

Akwater: Really, that’s nice. I may give them a call.

Me: Sir, that’s great, we would really love to have you visit with us. However, while
going to church is important, much more important than that is going to Heaven.
Has anyone ever spoken to you about going to Heaven?

Akwater: Oh, I remember something about that. I feel I do alright and certainly the good
I have done over the years out ways the bad. Surely God loves everyone.

Me: You are most certainly right, God does love everyone and in fact he has made it
very plain in his Word, the Bible, how you can know for sure you are going to
Heaven. Would you mind if I take a moment and show you what the Bible says
about how a person can know that they are going to Heaven?

Akwater: I guess, as long as it isn’t going to take to much time. I am very busy today.

Me: No sir, it will only take a few minutes and then I will be on my way.

Akwater: OK.

Me: Good, you can follow along in the tract as I talk. The first thing that the Bible
says is that we all have Sinned. It says in the Book of Ecclesiastes – 7:20:
“For there is not a just man upon the earth, that doeth Good and
sinneth not.”
It also says in the Book of Romans – 3:10 and 23:
“As it is written, there is none righteous, no, not one.”
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.”

Akwater: Ok, I see that, but what exactly is sin?

Me: To sin is to go against the commandments of God. You have probably heard
of the Ten Commandments.
Akwater: Oh, yes, I have heard of them and I do my best to keep them. I don’t lie, or
steal; and I have never killed anyone.

Me: That’s very good, but God says here in the Book of Matthew – 22:37-40 that his
greatest commandment is to love him with all your heart, soul, and mind; and that
the second commandment is to love our neighbor as ourselves. I certainly know
that I have not always loved God with all my heart, soul, and mind and my neighbor
as myself. Would you agree that no one would ever be able to do this?

Akwater: Oh my, I never knew that. I certainly would not be able to say I have always loved
God that way or even always treated my neighbor as I would like to be treated.

Me: So would you agree with the Bible that all have sinned and broken God’s commandments?

Akwater: Yes. I would have to agree that all, including myself, have sinned and broken God’s
commandments.

Me: With our agreement then, the Bible goes on to say that there is a penalty for sin. In the
Book of Ezekiel – 18-4 it says:
“… the soul that sinneth, it shall die.”
It also says in the Book of Romans – 6:23:
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life
through Jesus Christ our Lord.”
So you see, because of our sin, we deserve an eternity in hell; separated from God.

Akwater: Ok, so because of breaking God’s commandments I deserve to be punished for
my sin, but what was that about the gift of God? Something about eternal life.
What is that?

Me: I am glad you asked that. You see, you were right earlier when you said that God
loves everyone. He loves us all so much that he has made a way for the punishment
or penalty of our sin to be paid for us.

Akwater: Really, how can that be?

Me: Let me show you. In the Book of John – 3:16 it says:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,
that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have
everlasting life.”
You see, God sent his Son, Jesus Christ to take our place and receive our punishment
for our sins. Because of this we are able to have everlasting life and know that we can
go to Heaven. In the Book of Romans – 5:8 again, it says:
“But God commended his love toward us, in that, while we were
yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

Akwater: So what you are saying is, that my punishment has been taken by Jesus and so now I
am sure that I am going to Heaven. That’s great. If Jesus took everyone’s punishment,
then what is the big deal? Isn’t everyone just going to go to Heaven?

Me: Not exactly. You see, while it is indeed true that Christ has taken our punishment for sin,
we must accept by faith what Jesus has done. The key thing to note is the word God uses
in John 3:16, and that is believe. If we look a bit further in the Book of John – 3:36 it says:
“He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth
not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.”
It also says in John – 5:24:
“Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth
on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into
condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.”

Akwater: So what the Bible is saying, is that I need to believe the things it says and how Jesus has
taken the punishment of my sin for me.

Me: Yes. You need to believe in Jesus and what he has done. You need to completely trust him
to get you to Heaven as there is not other way, according to the Bible. You need to put your
salvation in his hands because there is nothing any of us can do to earn everlasting life. It is
a free gift that God offers to everyone that believes. It says, again, in Romans 6:23:
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life
through Jesus Christ our Lord.”

Akwater: So if I do believe how do I get this gift?

Me: Let’s take one final look at the Book of Romans – 10:9-11 and 13, it says:
“That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe
in thine heart that God has raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth
confession is made unto salvation. For the scripture saith, Whosoever
believeth on him shall not be ashamed … For whosoever shall call upon
the name of the Lord shall be saved”
You need to repent or turn from your sin and confess to God that you believe in Jesus. That
you are putting your faith in what Christ has done.

Akwater: Ok, so how do I call upon the Lord?

Me: All you need to do is to pray to God and admit you are a sinner. Tell him you believe in
His Son Jesus Christ. Tell Him also that you are sorry for your sin and simply ask Him
to save you. Tell Him you are trusting Him completely and know there is no other way
to know you are going to Heaven.

Akwater: Can I do that now? Will you help me?

Me: Sure, lets Pray.

I remember it like it was yesterday, which is slightly concerning since this thread was only created a couple of hours ago.

Anyway, I saw that he was giving away some games on GOG; so I e-stalked him and then added him on Facebook. After all, you don't get to 500 million friends without adding some random people from some forum.

heh that thing inspired me to go ahead and do it here as a contest :)

Well, damn! You may as well give me the $60 now! :)

I was out with my friends when you showed up and started talking to me. I asked my friends who you were, but it seemed that I was the only person who knew you were there. I reached out to touch you to make sure you were real, then you grabbed my arm and flipped me through the wall. I've been in the mental hospital ever since.

We met at an AA meeting, at least I think it was an AA meeting I was pretty drunk when I went.

As I remember it you came up to me and asked me to tell you how we first met, but that I should lie instead of tell the truth, and that I definitely shouldn't do it on Facebook for some reason. It was kind of weird.