I- ...

Is there any reply to this? Ever?

We were roommates our first year at the Rigellian Space Academy. After we graduated, we were transferred to different duty stations. You to the Earth Observatory on what the humans refer to as Mars, and I to the Black Hole Research team.

When news came up about the planned invasion of Earth, we ran into each other again during the Agent Earth Placement Training. After we went through our cosmetic surgery to look like Earthlings, you were sent to investigate their tropical climates, whereas I was sent to our military production facility in the Antarctic.

When our agents set up the website gog.com, you were brought to the Antarctic Division to help with the subliminal message encoding which I had developed. Thanks to that work, to human eyes this is just a long, drawn out joke about martinis and a nude beech.

Also, HQ wants you to know we're about to initiate Phase 2 of the subliminal project. Soon the games will contain code to guarantee the humans will have no desire to fight back when the invasion fleet arrives in 231 days.

It's a tale of ships that pass in the night. Well... more like old ships without radar, or adequate lighting that didn't exactly manage to pass one another.

What I remember most about Akwater was him performing the Heimlich Manoeuvre on me to help me cough up the last of the seaweed. Or at least I hope it was the Heimlich Manoeuvre. Whatever; it worked.

Didn't we met the last time I went to Hell? I went after some demon killing action and I remember you trying to sell me this ancient artifact that looked like a goat's head and was supposed to suck souls out of people's bodies.

I remember not buying it from you.

It was the day that changed my life, for better and for worse.

It was 10pm Friday the 27th of December 2002. I was at a house party other at a friend of a friends friends house. It was snowing outside, but inside it was warm and full of music, laughter, and the sound glass smashing over the head of someone who had one to many to drink.
I was sat on the sofa along with my four others, Ed, Jess, Stacey, and Jim. We were casually talking and drinking trying not to get to drunk to fast as we wanted the night to last. That plan went downhill when someone suggested drinking games.
The game was simple, roll a dice, the number you roll is how many shots you drink. As you may have guessed, it didn't take long for us all to get completely wasted.

I can't remember much of what was said but I both Stacey and Jess were coming onto me, and no this wasn't subtle flirting, this was very bold, very obvious, and very drunk.
Now you're all probably think "Dang, you got lucky" but suddenly I felt as if I was about to puke (alcohol will do that to you, kids) so I quickly got up and ran to the toilet. I then blacked out.

I woke up in the bath with a mans voice talking to me "You should be learn to limit your alcohol, could of chocked to death on your own vomit, plus I had to clean you up as well"
I opened my eyes, and then I saw you.
I couldn't reply, I was too fixated on you, your smile, your hair, your skin, you were perfect. I always knew that I was different, but till now I never wanted to believe it "you're gorgeous" I said. You smiled back and then we kissed for the first time.

I came to your house with your little brother and some other friends. Your brother had just split from a fairly popular band and had been given a lump of cash to give up his rights to songs. The main member of that band's girlfriend had dump him for this girl who had later become my girlfriend. That breakup provided the songs that your brother took the cash for. Now, in between then, and kind of during it, that girl was the girlfriend of a drummer that your little brother had earlier been in a band with. The drummer and my girlfriend had stayed best friends and had moved to L.A. along with us. Your little brother needed a place to crash so he called the drummer guy and he couldn't put him up so we put him up. She was still friends with your little brother so it was no big deal. When we went over to your house though, you were a bit 'I'm all that' because your face was on a pinball machine. It was cool, but it wasn't really all that. Actually that's a lie. I never went to your house because I was either busy or I figured you were 'not my type' from the stories I heard about you. I forget which. Your brother is nice though and you should lighted up on him.

It was some sultry night in an Iranian bar years ago.
All I remember is wanting to drink the pain away. I put back shot after shot after shot until my stomach started to roil and the last thing I remember is the smell of moldy peanuts as my face hit the complementary bowl.
I blacked out.
Days later I awoke naked at the... tail end of a likewise unclothed middle eastern woman. Across her back was a line of half-used cocaine standing in stark contrast to her dark skin. At the other end of the woman I beheld Akwater for the first time, face and eyepatch smeared with white powder and blood (the origin of which I remain ignorant).

Later that night I helped him bury eighteen bodies. We have been inseparable ever since.

Oooh I hate facebook competitions!

I had a great story of adventure, betrayal, suspense, horror, sex, violence, amusing misunderstandings and bouts of madness where you were throwing games at random passers by.

Car chases! Aeroplanes! Nuns moonlighting as strippers! Strippers moonlighting as nuns! Explosions! A thousand elephants! In a world gone mad...

But of course I don't have facebook

you dont need a facebook to do this :p just post the story here :)

I don't remember but I guess we met when I was born, mom.

favorite

Poor guy, now he has to come up with a story full sex, betrayal, strippers and all that other junk.

I was cooking a pie when we met. You asked me why I was cooking it on a stick over an open fire, to which I responded that it would be too hard to bring an oven into the middle of the street. I offered you some pie, but you said you weren't very fond of spam egg cheese and spam pie. So I just ate my delicious pie by myself, and you went on your way. Good times...

LOL this should be good.

Our projectile vomit crossed ways as the gallons of intoxicating liquor heaved itself out of our bodies. I of course was too young to be drinking but Akwater decided that I should try a few rounds before playing Amnesia: The Dark Descent. I shouldn't have.
-Fin.