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General discussion (archive)YAGFH2O (Giveaway)(93 posts)(93 posts)
(93 posts)
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This is my favourite topic
Posted March 04, 2011
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jimthev: More people should enter. The prize is huge and I like reading funny stories.
True :) Also... Anyone wanna compile the list of entrants? I've got another exam tomorrow and well........ I should be studying heh... however I'll find time if no one gets to it before I am off work tomorrow...
Posted March 04, 2011
So I don't know what happened honestly, just one day I'm minding my own business when some crazy woman starts trying to bust down my door. I scare her off, she goes and calls the police. Turns out she's a drug dealer who's been paying the police off, so who goes to jail? I do.

Two months in jail, my family moves, I have no money, and get out of jail a week before my birthday completely destitute. So I end up staying at a homeless shelter run by whackjobs one non-euclidean neuron from the Innsmouth cult. I live with a succession of creepy people for about 3 months, then I get shipped off by people I've never met to another homeless shelter. On the way out I notice somebody sitting in the background, looking menacing. I avert my eyes.

At this one I live with a crackhead, a fellow who believes he is responsible for the well-being of the entire town, and a midget alcoholic, all of whom are well past 60. The crackhead can't get away with stealing all my cigarettes, so I get beaten up by a mildly obese punk-rocker with a tiny mohawk in a shade of red so gaudy it looks like christmas after I throw up my lunch of broccoli on him. After that this homeless shelter decides to get rid of me. As I'm leaving I notice a familiar face in the crowd -- that same fellow from the first homeless shelter.

Finally I get to my current location. Back in town with my family. I'm out smoking a cigarette late at night when someone clears their throat behind me.

It's Slenderman!

No wait, it's that guy from the homeless shelters, and he's wearing stilts. Why is he wearing stilts? I don't know, because he jumps off of them and ditches them in the brush and undergrowth next to my house. He asks me, "Hey man, can I borrow a cig?" I reach in my pocket, mildly spooked still, but then he waves me off. "Nah I'm kidding you, I don't smoke."

And then, akwater blasted him in the head from behind with a hammergun. He made a gun that shoots hammers. Then he started dicing up the corpse with a shotsaw. He made a chainsaw out of shotguns. It is obvious where this all went afterwards, and by that I mean sex.

EDIT: It is worth noting that a large amount of this story is actually true, with a few details changed or omitted to increase JDATE-style humor. I can provide some short stories based on my travels during that time at some point, if anyone is interested.
Post edited March 04, 2011 by GhostQlyph
Posted March 04, 2011
I was in a karaoke bar in Shanghai. I hate karaoke, but some friends dragged me to a crowded KTV. It was so crowded in fact that the staff was consolidating separate groups into private rooms. We got put in a room together and our mutual interest in Spanish Civil history sparked your long lasting friendship.
Post edited March 04, 2011 by Sorrynametaken
Posted March 04, 2011
I met you when I was down and did not wanted to live any more. I was standing on the bridge, looking down to the river and I just wanted to end it. You were just walking over the bridge and saw me. You came to me and have shown me how great live can be. I will never forget that.

This will be a friedship for the rest of our lives.

:)
Posted March 04, 2011
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USERNAME:akwater#Q&_^Q&Q#GROUP:4#Q&_^Q&Q#LINK:80#Q&_^Q&Q#True :) Also... Anyone wanna compile the list of entrants? I've got another exam tomorrow and well........ I should be studying heh... however I'll find time if no one gets to it before I am off work tomorrow...#Q&_^Q&Q#LINK:80#Q&_^Q&Q#
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Forgot me D:
Posted March 04, 2011
I'll never forget that night.

I was dragging a long, heavy bundle thickly wrapped in plastic towards a dumpster when you turned into the alleyway. Despite the fact I looked a mess, with blood splattered all over me all you said was "Need a hand?" and grabbed the feet - I mean other end. When you mentioned that you had a boat and suggested we go shark fishing I knew I was on to a good thing.

The following morning we watched the sun rise from the back of your boat while enjoying your excellent shark fin soup*, and I turned to you and said "Akwater, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."


*Don't feel sorry for the sharks, I'm quite sure they were man eaters.
Post edited March 04, 2011 by Hardrada
Posted March 04, 2011
I shouldn't really talk about it but I'll keep most of the sensitive details out.

I was freezing my ass off in this forgotten corner of the Earth. I had just made the final arrangements with my contacts to ensure the aircraft reached safely to the abandoned air strip. Just maybe I was finally going to get out of this hell hole after 5 long years. You screw up one hit and off you go to an unspecified eastern european country for 5 god damned years. Everything is so fu%$ing grey here. And now the director back home decided I need a rookie agent to help me? Fine!

I read his file. What the hell was a silver spoon brat doing in this part of the world involved in this type of things? Is he sick in the head or something? Heh... I guess we all are. But now I have to babysit his ass because daddy is a big wig. Fine! I keep him safe but he'd better not get in my way.

I got to the air strip just in time to see the plane land. That flying piece of rusted bolts should have been retired 20 years ago but you make due with what you have. That was the first time i saw akwater. This scruffy looking kid gets off all yellow faced. Must be used to 1st class I thought. Who knew, back then, he was a cold blooded professional, not a rich kid looking for kicks. I guess I should have seen it in his eyes but I wasn't focused on him. I must be slipping.

The rest, as they say, it's CLASSIFIED!

It's been a few years since then. I'm still here. It's snowing outside, spring takes it's time coming. I'm writing this on a crappy old computer, but, as always, you make due with what you have. And hey, it can still play GoGs...
Posted March 04, 2011
We first met at the courtroom, when you were accused of giving away 60$ on gog.com, amazon or steam, without license form the authorities.

And I was the judge...
Post edited March 04, 2011 by SLP2000
Posted March 04, 2011
I came home from my nightly DnD session. And there you were, making out with my sister! I was like, "Dude! What the heck?" And you punched me.

So after a little while of punching and kicking (mostly you doing that to me), you hit me really hard in the face and I did a huge backflip and landed on my stomach. And then you shouted "Totally critted you, sucker! Natural 20!"

I looked up from my bloody mess and said, "I have worse than a wizard's naked AC, dude."

And from that moment on, we were besties.
Posted March 04, 2011
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Tallima: I came home from my nightly DnD session. And there you were, making out with my sister! I was like, "Dude! What the heck?" And you punched me.

So after a little while of punching and kicking (mostly you doing that to me), you hit me really hard in the face and I did a huge backflip and landed on my stomach. And then you shouted "Totally critted you, sucker! Natural 20!"

I looked up from my bloody mess and said, "I have worse than a wizard's naked AC, dude."

And from that moment on, we were besties.
Aren't you glad he wasn't using 3rd Ed rules and triple critted you...
Posted March 04, 2011
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Vault_Boy: Good times.
And Random.org chose YOU!

Hit me up on Pm, or steam or whatever to tell me what cha want what you really really want...
Posted March 05, 2011
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Vault_Boy: Good times.
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akwater: And Random.org chose YOU!

Hit me up on Pm, or steam or whatever to tell me what cha want what you really really want...
Woah, now that comes unexpected. I do not know what to say right now... absolutely awesome. Woohoooo! This is so great!

Thank you so much for this contest; it was fun, both creating a story and reading what others came up with. Definitely something different on these forums.
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This is my favourite topic
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General discussion (archive)YAGFH2O (Giveaway)(93 posts)(93 posts)
(93 posts)